Sunday, 21 February 2010

Almost a year old

So my malenkiy blogsky is almost a year old, you know. My baby is growing up.
We shall celebrate in style- on February the 26th. If you wish to make a donation or send lavish gifts please contact me by email and I will send you the address. It will have to be the work one, I guess, as I still (very occasionally) get some mean people sending me weird messages, and would not want them showing up at my doorstep with a little box containing their chopped off penis or something else equally revolting.

One virtual friend of mine suggested that, after 6 months, a lot more traffic would come from Google. My favourite toy- Google analytics- shows a little pie chart, with sources of traffic. It breaks it up into “search engines”, “direct traffic” and “referral sites”. And, even though most of my traffic is still coming from referrals, the search engine one is indeed, picking up.

However. I now realize that the kind of readers who might accidentally stumble upon this blog are not the kind I would wish for. (Like some cool agents offering me book deals or magazine editors begging to write a regular column for them) Because I can see what they were hoping to find when they found me.

I can break the main ones into the following categories:

1) Azeri sex
2) Azeri prostitutes
3) Azeri sexy girls
4) Azeri porn

You see, I foolishly used the word sex in this blog a couple of times, and now I am forever doomed. I never knew that 'Azeri sex' was in such demand. I thought it was the oil.

I also once wrote about huge breasts. So, of course, I often see huge breasts in the search.

But occasionally, I get truly fascinating ones. Like this one:

“Azeries think Americans are stupid”

That is a whole sentence someone typed on Google, hoping to find some proof of Azeries discriminating against Americans.

Someone else searched for “free scary honey holes”- eh?-and someone for “Azeri Elka lesbian in London

And, to summarize, I guess we should look at some basic results:

Total posts: 123
Total good posts: 5
Total agents discovering the blog and offering book deals: 0
Total new friends made- Quite a few, actually.
Total weirdoes- Not too many, to be honest. Expected a lot more.
Total stalkers- None known for sure, but maybe one.
Total magazine columns out of it- One. In MagAZine.
Total articles in other publications- A few, mostly pro bono.

But it has been a fun year. Here is to many more!


  1. Well, on the other hand, you now know what you should be writing about... ;)

    BTW: Total magazine columns out of it -- actually two if you include

    Anyway, persevere. You will get there... :)

  2. Ah, I guess that was included in "Total articles in other publications." Anyway, don't give up, but obviously, sex sells. Just saying... ;)

  3. You made my day, Scary!
    It is funny. I have a friend from Azerbaijan who from time to time publishes his blog traffic information like you did. Same thing. Lots of sex, porn etc. Your info is in English so, you have to see what people search for using azeri!
    Interestingly, people from Azerbaijan look for sex a lot.
    Reason? I have no idea.


  4. I think you have more than five good posts:)Congratulations!!!

  5. Congratulations on the first anniversary. I hope to be one of the "quite a few" in the total new friends count.
    And yes, you can get visitors to your blog from really weird searches. I've been there too.
    ¡Saludos especiales!

  6. Happy Birthday! I love more than just 5 posts. Haven't realized you mostly about sex. Hmm. You are great and always get some kind of emotions out of me. I have never read your blog and didn't feel anything. Well done and to many more. No gifts. But let me know where the celebrations are taking place:) xx

  7. @Tatarin:because We,Azeries are very,very hot :-)

  8. You mean I've been reading this blog for so many months and we're not ever going to get to the Azeri sex, prostitutes, sexy girls and porn I was looking for? Ah well ...

  9. Now tell us the truth. Did you use all these words again to get more traffic? :))))))
    But seriously you'll get there, I know!

  10. Happy blogiversary, Scary! Wishing you many more years of sharing your wonderful stories with us. Ha ha, the search words are hilarious:)

  11. I am writing a political blog, so I should perhaps gain some insights from this information to increase my readership. After all, sex and politics always go hand in hand, and examples worldwide abound :)

  12. @Guys: Thank you all for the lovely words. Especially appreciated today, since, coincidentally, someone called Lala Babayeva sent me a full of hate e-mail, saying that "only an idiot could publish an article like that". She said she was ashamed we belonged to the same nation. She also said "shame on you!!!", which for some reason made me laugh. Unfortunately, she assumed scaryazeri was the name of the article. so I have no clue which posting or an article somewhere else annoyed her. Anyway, thank you. :)

  13. @Marianna, you have a blog??? how come I have no idea? share!

  14. Congratulations on your blog's anniversary! Have you considered publishing it to Amazon Kindle?

  15. Lala Babaeva poh eyir!How she dare judge u such a rude way?

  16. @Riyad: No. will check what that is, but I dont get all those self-publishing deals, seem a bit pointless. :)

  17. Scary I found your blog a week and have become hooked on it. Ti prosta super and I enjoy all of your blogs. I miss baku so much and your blogs bring back great memories so I thank you :)


  18. Your list was much more exciting than mine. People find my blog by searching for "CBeebies" or "Little Dorritt" (I once wrote a rant about the unsatisfactory ending of Little Dorritt).

  19. Congratulations!! It's a real milestone! Look forward to reading more fantastic posts and stories over the course of the upcoming year.

  20. Congrats Scary!!! U really great.... u share all ur senses, memories. Looking forward to read more stories from u ....

  21. "I often see huge breasts in the search."

    Imagine my disappointment.
    Does have a sultry harem girl with lavish furniture and even some tigers, but I just can't avoid the impression that it was intended to be tasteful and thematic rather than shocking, ridiculous, and bizarre.
    is a bit better when it mentions "impressive cleavage," but the drawing is somewhat ambiguous and anyway cleavage is a masterpiece of presentation as well as natural endowments, so we're still left to decide for ourselves whether there really were any huge breasts to be found.

    Scary, please tell us, when will you blog this for your public?
    We need to know what the Azeris think!
    (Yes, it's safe for work. But weird.)


  22. @Mark: Well, not sure I will blog about this, but not a bad marketing tool. I doubt it would target my market, however husband and his truck he is trying to sell would definitely benefit. I shall forward the link on to him.

  23. @ Scary: Hahaha! No. You should not blog about it. I didn't mention it as a marketing tool. My post may have been somewhat genuine, maybe a bit deadpan, but that doesn't mean it was serious! Please, do not write about this! Doing so could only result in your blog getting sucked into a smothering and fleshy vortex from which nothing can ever emerge sane or alive.