Tuesday, 24 March 2009
Being married can be hard work. On Sunday, I got thinking about pros and cons of a married life.
In Russian, by the way the word marriage or brak is the same as defect. As my Russian friend puts it: If it had been so perfect, they would have chosen a different word.
Our weekend was unusually busy. Partially, due to Novruz- a big Spring holiday back home- the most fattening holiday in the year. So if normally we eat a lot when we get together, when it is Novruz celebrations, there is no stopping until you collapse.
So some of my Azeri friends gathered in the only Azeri restaurant in London. On Friday night, together with some other 10 couples and small children, we transported in time and space into Baku as we remembered it to be. The crazy disco lights in a dodgy basement cafe, the TV with Azeri singing in the background…and our children up at 10pm hopping to the music in the middle of the floor.
And of course, the yummy shashliks…. Great stuff.
On Saturday we continued partying at someone else’s house. So by Sunday, being the old married suburban woman that I am, I was worn out. But my eating and drinking chore was not over: a good family friend was visiting all the way from Canada. So husband lit the BBQ and I relaxed in my garden chair, sipping a glass of white wine.
But, it is a known fact that I can not drink. Especially, in the afternoon. And, after having had two nights out in a row. I mean, come on. What did you expect?
So after two glasses, I realized I was falling asleep and nothing or nobody could stop me.
I secretly sneaked into the living room and collapsed on the sofa, pretending to be watching Dora the Explorer with the child. For a little while, I forgot my usual duties, the fact that I have a husband, a child, and a visitor from abroad. I vaguely remember my bouncy toddler jumping up and down my stomach, and me telling her if she did not stop I would be sick right there. And that she should trust me- she would not like that. Despite her age, she is a very sensible child, so she left me alone.
But then this is where being married also becomes an issue.
Husband was not impressed. Our visitor was OK with me falling asleep, as he had been known to do that himself. But he had to go, and husband was left alone. Looking after the bouncy child. On a Sunday afternoon. And it was still sunny. If you live in the UK, you have not got the luxury of sleeping while there is at least some sun out there. You use every minute of it while it lasts.
So as I lay in my stupor, I could hear him complaining in the background. And I thought: this is when you want to be single and childless like my friend T. She can nap if she wants to, often till 4pm and then not go to bed till 2am. In fact, she can do whatever she pleases. Total freedom of choice. And nobody jumps on her full stomach or nags in the background.
-Just a minute....- I told them both- I will get up in a minute. And will you please stop this wriggling business-I begged the child, who made her way on my sofa again- I really don't like it!
- I personally quite like the wriggling business with mommy- sighed husband- but don't get to do much these days....
Oh, here we go again.