Tuesday, 25 September 2012

A very civilized coffee morning. With a twist.

I got dressed up yesterday to go to a very civilized coffee morning. Sometimes I just feel like making a bit of an effort, you know? The coffee was at a new friend's place. I knew she had invited quite a few people I have not met yet, and was looking forward to getting to know some new faces.

It was a beautiful house, with a beautifully set up table. The hostess made an effort, too. I sat there, chatting and sipping my coffee, when something quite shocking happened. A very pleasant Indian lady suddenly, pretty much out of the blue, announced that London was completely and utterly Islamased. 

I love meeting different people with all sorts of opinions. I find it incredibly entertaining when people just come up with some bizarre stuff in front of someone they barely know, if know at all. I never really get into any arguments, not because I am embarrassed. I, in fact, encourage them to go on, as it gives me a fascinating glimpse into their minds, and without letting them speak out, I would simply never discover just how screwed up some people are. For example, only recently, I met a South African lady, who was openly telling me how she screamed at her maid, and how once she grabbed hold of her male cleaner's arm and twisted it backward to stop him washing up under the running water. She explained that she had warned him once not to use running water and he disobeyed her orders. She looked so insane telling us this story, I was beyond fascinated! I mean, when she just walked into that dinner party, she did not look anyhow interesting. She was just this very quiet, badly dressed, lonely sort of older lady. And suddenly, she came to live with all her racist, cruel, nasty personality shining through. Amazing! Simply amazing.

Anyhow, back to the Indian lady. Without any hesitation, confusion or embarrassment, she came up with this, hmm...statement. Looking me directly in the face, expecting support and understanding. I made a hmm...confused sort of noise. I was thinking that she did not know where I was from. I have dark hair and almost middle-eastrn sort of features. I could have easily been offended!  Okay, as many of you know, I am far from being religious, neither am I the one to be protecting religious people and their feelings.  Yet, I have found her comment really, quite unpleasant. Not only because I come from a Muslim country, I also disliked anyone saying anything negative about the UK and London. Basically, I found the comment nasty on all sorts of various levels and layers, from all sorts of angles.

She went on to explain how saddened she was by this complete and utter Islamisation of London and the UK. How London is lost to Muslims. Lost. Gone.

You know, I wanted to say... You clearly, have not been to Southall. I actually think London is quite Indianised, myself. And as for Doha, it is quite Indianised, too. Do you find me saying it to people at a coffee morning, shaking my head in an outraged racist kind of fashion? Nope. She also mentioned that America was her home now, since she has spent years living there. I wonder how she would feel if she overheard some white Americans discussing how many Indians lived in the States these days. (Or Hindu, if you want to get technical).

She went on to complain about Islam in such a way that it made me wonder what she was actually doing here, in Qatar. It must be quite a painful experience for her, really.

And suddenly, I just wanted to leave. Despite the pleasant hostess, a beautifully served coffee and a very tasty watermelon. Some opinions, you see, are better off shared when you know someone much, much better. Perhaps, intimately. I felt almost harassed by this comment. It was ugly, it was naked, it felt indecent. As if she had stripped in the middle of the morning coffee, and showed me her saggy, dark nippled breasts, shaking them in my face. That is what it felt like, to me. Revolting.

Now, she might actually be a nice person. Slightly islamophobic, perhaps, but maybe quite nice deep inside. But now that she stripped in front of me before I even had a chance to get to know her, guess what...I don't have any desire to find out.

Friday, 7 September 2012

A few post-Safarov scenarios, depending on the nationality.

Very strange. For some reason, watching "Rise of the Planet of the Apes" just now made me think of Safarov. Not a good image, but I simply can't shake it off. 

Please note. Very important! Views and opinions expressed below are NOT of Scary Azeri. 

So, since my last posting on the national hero Safarov I have been following some conversations on Facebook, and obviously getting a few comments here and there, you know. In the end, it all got too boring to be honest, especially when both sides started off in a very civilized manner; only to then start bringing up well-known examples and wind each other up.

But! Before I move on to some other topics in life, and leave poor Safarov alone to enjoy his fame and love of all the "patriots"...I just thought, it would be amusing to list down the available conspiracy theories floating about on the Internet right now. Who knows, maybe one of those will actually come true? In which case, we can all come back to this blog some time from now- years? months? days?- and say wow...however mad this sounded, you guys were right! (Which I personally sincerely doubt). But, humour me. Let's just consider all the versions. I might be missing a few, of course, so please do feel free to add to the below list.

Right, this is where you, my dear readers, have to, naturally, separate. If you are an Armenian national, please see the following explanation to what has happened. 

"a theory that all these was carefully orchestrated by Azeri/Turkish leaders to start the war against Armenia in the near future. After making Safarov a hero authorities will then kill him saying that an Armenian infiltrator did that. That will anger Azeri people even more and they will be calling for war."

If, however you happen to be Azeri, you might prefer the following version:

Safarov was set up by the Armenians. He was given a drug called vafli, often used in dog fights, to stimulate aggressive behaviour. Now, this minor detail is VERY important to a lot of Azeris. The murdered the armenian officer was not asleep! I repeat: He was NOT asleep, but got woken up, walked to his door and opened it to the (maddened by vafli drug) Safarov. Somehow, this makes it a better story for a lot of Azeris. I personally don't get why. Whether the guy was asleep or just woken up does not change the fact that he was turned into a Nearly Headless Nick (excuse the black humour) by You Know Who with an axe. What fascinated me as well, is that in some rather pathetic example of Azeri journalism, they laughed at the other Armenian companion of the murdered officer- for hiding away from the madman with an axe, and being too afraid to open the door. The journalist thought it was an act of cowardice. I wish I could place that journalist at night, in a hotel room with a mad enemy with an axe right outside, and see if he would still think it was funny. But I am sorry. He is in Baku, he gets paid to write this crap and can't do anything about that. 

Another version circulating around Baku right now worth sharing is that the plot was organized and Safarov paid to commit the crime by the.....Americans, of course!
You see, they have been suspiciously quick with their "disturbed" reaction to Safarov's pardoning, and that means that they were waiting for it to happen. President Aliyev is only a puppet in some major international set-up, and did what he was instructed to do. The whole thing was orchestrated in order to provoke the war, and for the Americans to take control of Armenia. I am not quite sure what the Americans would need Armenia for (no offence guys, but you have no oil.) But that is a theory that has been kindly passed on to me yesterday. 

You might have noticed, that whatever version people get fed on their side of the conflict, one element all the versions have in common, is the possibility of war. Which is not a joking matter. 

Finally. One article I have read on the subject was a breath of fresh air- an Azeri professor speaking beautifully, intelligently and logically....so I just have to share it here, in case you might have missed it. (it is in Russian). I was relieved to see there are still people like Professor Badalov back home. But also felt sorry for the guy. Even people I used to think I knew...used to think were intelligentsia posted such shockingly brainwashed, stupid comments under that article that I seriously consider un-friending them on Facebook.  Of course if they have not already un-friended me. 

Monday, 3 September 2012

About Safarov, the national hero.

Note: My formatting on Blogger has gone crazy. Just like the guy I am talking about below. Tried fixing it, but some things can never be fixed. Just like some people.

Well, isnt it just wonderful. An axe murderer turned into a national hero by the Azeri king who enjoys demonstrating just how little respect he has for anyone else's opinion.

Obama-shmobama!  Hungarians-shmangarians!... Ha! I don't give a flying f***. I am one of the richest guys in the world and guess what? I can do whatever i want! And not only i am brave like that, but also crafty, because by doing something like this, i suddenly gained support of thousands of nationalists. Now, instead of focusing on my corruption, despotism and other lovely personal traits, most of the Azeris are gonna love me for pardoning the guy who killed an Armenian. A sleeping one.

This is what the president must be thinking. Because, what else can possibly explain this decision?

I did not even feel like blogging about this, to be honest. I am just too disgusted to even bring myself to talk about it. 

The actual event itself is sad and f***up, of course. But there are thousands of sad and very f***d up things happen every day on our lovely planet. But what i found most upsetting is just how many Azeris are excited and proud about this. In one Facebook discussion i came across, in over 300! comments, majority of brainless idiots rushed to prove their national pride by insulting one intelligent girl who dared to share her concern about Safarov's freedom, and what it might mean for Azerbaijan. The attacks got nasty and personal-very similar to the ones i get on this blog.

"Your mother must be Armenian!"

" Go back to America, you are not a true Azeri! "
" How dare you call yourself azeri?!"

I watched the poor girl trying to defend herself. Trying to explain things to her fellow countrymen, things that, in theory, should not even need explaining! And of course, failing at the stone wall of nationalism. 

Nationalism is a crazy thing. It seems to turn people blind and deaf. It is very similar to religion in many ways- anyone who questions anything that had been done under the umbrella of patriotism should be immediately punished and silenced.

I started reading articles in Azeri media about the pardoning of Safarov, and came across some amazing examples of bollocks. I mean, the quality of it is beyond any expectations. Take this one article i have come across. 

"Citing the words of national leader Heydar Aliyev "When there is mind - no need to use force", Ali Ahmedov regarded Safarov's release as a result of this mind and wisdom."
Eh? What about the murder of a sleeping man? Not simply a murder but a 16-hits-with-an-axe-to almost-severe-his-head murder? Sorry....what are we talking about? 

"Both Karabakh, and Ramil became victims of saboteurs. The first is occupied by the enemy, while the other for so many years was imprisoned. Ramil was released, next is the liberation of Karabakh. Please God, day will come, when President, Supreme Commander Ilham Aliyev announces the liberation of Karabakh. All believe and wait for it. One injustice has been relegated to history, the other, I believe, will also be eliminated," Ahmedov said.

Oh, my....I gave up reading anything else on the subject after that. I realised that some people simply live in a parallel universe and don't follow any logic of human beings. 

But okay. For the sake of trying to understand...let's think of cases when a really cruel murder was indeed, provoked and could be forgiven. Like in those action movies that make us feel good because some child gets kidnapped or/and killed, and the main hero goes after the evil guys and kills them all and never gets punished or captured. I never really thought about it much- when can a murder be forgiven? Who has a moral right to pardon someone who had taken another humans life? And i guess, for all of us, there might be some things in life that we would kill for. I would kill anyone who tried to kidnap or badly harm my child. Definitely. 


I would not kill a random sleeping Armenian. Even if he laughed at me in a funny way, while talking to another Armenian. Even if he winked at me when he passed me in the corridor. And I am sorry. I know you are going to tell me I am not patriotic enough but, I would not even try to chop his head off if he'd said anything insulting about the Azeri flag. I mean, I would maybe think he was an idiot, but really? To murder him with an axe for it? Might be a touch extreme, don't you think? 

I really believe that one has to be a certain kind of person (i.e. a crazy murdering kind) to get that wound up at someone who might have insulted him. Note the "mind have" bit, since none of us will ever really know what had happened. Okay, the murderer had some relatives killed in Karabakh, they reckon. But they were not killed by this particular man. And even if we imagine that the guy was disturbed by the events, even if we try to understand why and how he could do something like this...it is still a bit hmm....bizarre to not only set him free (without any medical help) but also turn him into a national hero.

And finally. Forget the morals of it, or whether it was legal or not. Forget Obama and whoever else might have disliked what Aliyev has done. But think about what it might mean. For the glorious nation of Azerbaijan. For its future. For the peace. 

Think about retaliation. Think about certain comments already appearing in Azeri news implying that Azeri diplomats and delegations might be travelling with caution from now on. Also, think about other pathological, maniacal, murdering patriots who now think the door has been officially open to kill other innocent people to become national heroes. With a new house and some money. 

And imagine what it is going to be like from now on, if an Armenian abroad meets an Azeri. Is he or she going to think "hmm...is there an axe in his rucksack by any chance? Or shall i bring mine to the lecture/work/event today- just in case?" This is not the world I want my children to grow up in. 

And if this is what the majority of Azeris now truly think ( and I mean truly believe, rather than shouting what everyone else shouts on Facebook to demonstrate their patriotic feelings)- that this man deserved his freedom and glory, that what he did was right.....then I am glad I am out of there.