Friday, 7 September 2012

A few post-Safarov scenarios, depending on the nationality.

Very strange. For some reason, watching "Rise of the Planet of the Apes" just now made me think of Safarov. Not a good image, but I simply can't shake it off. 

Please note. Very important! Views and opinions expressed below are NOT of Scary Azeri. 

So, since my last posting on the national hero Safarov I have been following some conversations on Facebook, and obviously getting a few comments here and there, you know. In the end, it all got too boring to be honest, especially when both sides started off in a very civilized manner; only to then start bringing up well-known examples and wind each other up.

But! Before I move on to some other topics in life, and leave poor Safarov alone to enjoy his fame and love of all the "patriots"...I just thought, it would be amusing to list down the available conspiracy theories floating about on the Internet right now. Who knows, maybe one of those will actually come true? In which case, we can all come back to this blog some time from now- years? months? days?- and say wow...however mad this sounded, you guys were right! (Which I personally sincerely doubt). But, humour me. Let's just consider all the versions. I might be missing a few, of course, so please do feel free to add to the below list.

Right, this is where you, my dear readers, have to, naturally, separate. If you are an Armenian national, please see the following explanation to what has happened. 

"a theory that all these was carefully orchestrated by Azeri/Turkish leaders to start the war against Armenia in the near future. After making Safarov a hero authorities will then kill him saying that an Armenian infiltrator did that. That will anger Azeri people even more and they will be calling for war."

If, however you happen to be Azeri, you might prefer the following version:

Safarov was set up by the Armenians. He was given a drug called vafli, often used in dog fights, to stimulate aggressive behaviour. Now, this minor detail is VERY important to a lot of Azeris. The murdered the armenian officer was not asleep! I repeat: He was NOT asleep, but got woken up, walked to his door and opened it to the (maddened by vafli drug) Safarov. Somehow, this makes it a better story for a lot of Azeris. I personally don't get why. Whether the guy was asleep or just woken up does not change the fact that he was turned into a Nearly Headless Nick (excuse the black humour) by You Know Who with an axe. What fascinated me as well, is that in some rather pathetic example of Azeri journalism, they laughed at the other Armenian companion of the murdered officer- for hiding away from the madman with an axe, and being too afraid to open the door. The journalist thought it was an act of cowardice. I wish I could place that journalist at night, in a hotel room with a mad enemy with an axe right outside, and see if he would still think it was funny. But I am sorry. He is in Baku, he gets paid to write this crap and can't do anything about that. 

Another version circulating around Baku right now worth sharing is that the plot was organized and Safarov paid to commit the crime by the.....Americans, of course!
You see, they have been suspiciously quick with their "disturbed" reaction to Safarov's pardoning, and that means that they were waiting for it to happen. President Aliyev is only a puppet in some major international set-up, and did what he was instructed to do. The whole thing was orchestrated in order to provoke the war, and for the Americans to take control of Armenia. I am not quite sure what the Americans would need Armenia for (no offence guys, but you have no oil.) But that is a theory that has been kindly passed on to me yesterday. 

You might have noticed, that whatever version people get fed on their side of the conflict, one element all the versions have in common, is the possibility of war. Which is not a joking matter. 

Finally. One article I have read on the subject was a breath of fresh air- an Azeri professor speaking beautifully, intelligently and I just have to share it here, in case you might have missed it. (it is in Russian). I was relieved to see there are still people like Professor Badalov back home. But also felt sorry for the guy. Even people I used to think I knew...used to think were intelligentsia posted such shockingly brainwashed, stupid comments under that article that I seriously consider un-friending them on Facebook.  Of course if they have not already un-friended me. 


  1. The worst part of incidents like this one is that they might light on the spark of war which, as you rightfully say, is not joking matter at all.

  2. Scary Azeri, my sympathies to you. Especially as an expat it is difficult to deal with bad things that go on in your home country and make the international news. I've been there. I've been embarrassed, enraged, infuriated, shamed. Take a deep breath. It's not about you as a person.

    1. Yes, I know. I have moved on now. Bored of this safarov issue, and don't want to bore everyone else who is not interested. :)

  3. Dear Azeri, this video link, sums it all up.

  4., that is just as silly and full of hate as some azeri cartoons would be. Sad to see there are so many examples on both sides...

  5. Rahman Badalov was my professor in college. Glad to see him trying to bring some sense to this whole affair. He is a brilliant and courageous man.

  6. The war in Karabahg was a war unleashed by Azerbaijan not Armenia . It was the Azeri’s who attacked peaceful protesters in Karabagh back in late 80's and were killing Armenians in the streets of Sumgiat were the Russian military had to come in and stop the massacre (FACT), and Karabagh was were most of those Armenians were forced to go, Azariz were the ones who unleashed the war and it was there president who claimed that he was going to sit on the shores of lake Sevan and have Armenians serve him tea. He died with that dream. Armenians only defended themselves. It is not our fault that there army was made up of cowards who outnumbered the Armenian 3 to 1 and still lost. You unleashed the war and you lost it so now you want to use the war to justify praising a man that brutal killed another man in his sleep who was not even in Azerbaijan when the war broke out.
    This is all Azari propaganda to brainwash its people to hating Armenians, I dont believe any of this crap and evidently the UN and other humanity courts don't buy your story. They didn't buy Kholajy either. Civilians were used as human shields by Azeri soldiers. They don't protect their citizens, in Azerbaijan it is every man for themselves. Baku Black propaganda even tried to parade photos online of dead people in a village. They were later identified from Serbian/Croatian conflicts and the clothing dated back over 50 years. Another photo was of a baby extracted from a woman's stomach. The problem with the photo is the baby was held by someone with surgical gloves on and surgical equipment laid on the side of the woman. Implying that Armenians had cut open the bellies of pregnant women to extract their babies was low. Those photos are traced back to a medical book on Cesarean births.

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  8. Hi Hikmat,
    Glad you enjoyed the blog, sorry you feel so bad about the country. But it helps to get out. When you are out, some things will look different from the outside, and you might find the rest of the world has its own hmm...issues, and then you might miss home. Some even come back!