Saturday, 4 April 2009

Grumpy Old Troll

Hey Troll,

This is not a planned posting. I was sitting on my comfy old sofa last night, writing about warm orange juice and children, when your creepy comments arrived, once again.

When you sent your first comments, I published them because, I think it provides my readers with some additional entertainment.

This time, however, you got pretty emotional, so I thought the best thing was probably to ignore it altogether. I looked around the net to see what other bloggers suggest I do with someone like you. I learned all about trolls. Which, I am sure you know is what you are, thanks to your practice of attacking some other bloggers out there, as I later found out.

But then I thought...No. I will answer you and anyone else who might be in your fan club: once and for all.

Please note, Troll Atilla that after this posting, where I explain to you what is what, I will never in any way either read or acknowledge your comments, however many you bother sending me.

So, first of all here is what you wrote last night:

Again scary Azeri. I would wish that you would not identify yourself as Azerbaijani. I am Azerbaijani ashamed of such women as you, who have been hunting for foreign husbands and at the end managed to hunt couple of rotten English or useless foreign men, whom I anyway consider to be the garbage in their own country as not good foreigners have ever come to Azerbajan to work. The foreigners, especially Westerners (I had a chance to work with many of them) with 99 percent have been loosers in their country, were usually drunk, with some psychological problems, who have been looking for advenrture in places like as Azerbaijan as they were nothing in their own countries. So that is how you ended up (being a woman of corrupt morality and 100% not Azerbaijani) with this rotten English and garbage who at one point of his life ended up in Azerbaijan most likely working for the disgusting BP or its sub-contractors.

Given these facts, I would appreciate if you wouldn't associate yourslef with Azerbaijan and would not identify yourself as Azerbaijani.

Also please don't generalize Azerbaijani as people who don't like fighting. You haven't seen the real Azerbaijani men (sttaring with your Russified, womanized and honorless father and brothers if you had any) and therefore you don't know what the real Azerbaijani man is about. You and fascist Armenians will hear about the fighting capability of Azerbaijanis when it is time. Azerbaijani men are just not stupid to fight when it is not ripe time.

Hmm…..Pretty mean, pretty mean.

OK, so let’s just make things clear.

First of all, I would like to say that in some bizarre way I totally understand you, Troll. Honestly. I think if I had not become what I have become in this life, I should have been a shrink.
I can see what you are saying, from your perspective and why you are saying it. Guess what, I lived in Baku and I met people like you before.

It is not the purpose of this posting to tell you that you can not call all foreigners in Baku rotten garbage. Just like this lady blogger I came across can not claim that every girl in Baku out after 9pm is a whore. In a twisted sort of way, you and this lady blogger have something in common, don’t you find? What I mean is that you both clearly, had personal reasons for such strong feelings.

Perhaps, a pretty Azeri girl left you to marry a foreigner, and perhaps this foreign lady’s husband strayed with an Azeri girl whilst in Baku. All I can really say to you both is: Oh, come o-on! Grow up! Move on.

And it is not the purpose of this posting to tell you how frustrating it can be to yet again witness ignorance and bigotry.

So what is the purpose of this conversation then, and why am I even doing this?

I am what I am, Troll. Don’t worry, it is pretty obvious to anyone who had ever been in Baku, that I am not a typical Azeri girl. Never was back then, and even less so now. And I think I made it pretty clear from the very first posting.
What makes me “corrupt” in your eyes is probably just the fact I open my mouth to say something. Because in the eyes of someone like you, women are only supposed to talk about babies and dolma.

I know that I might offend people with some things I say here. People like you, Troll have some form of a brain disorder that stops it from grasping satire and irony.

It reminds me of this news a couple of years ago, when the Harry Potter movie creators had complaints from a few Russians suffering from the same disorder. They were insulted that the character of Dobby looked suspiciously, a lot like Putin. (Which, now that I am looking at this picture, he funnily enough, kind of does.)

Once I had an arts teacher back home. He was a very clever old Jewish guy. One of the coolest people I met in my life. He told me, that what makes the Jews different from some other cultures is that they can laugh at themselves. He told me that no nation can ever claim to be properly civilized until they learn how to take a joke about their country.

So what I was trying to say here is:

I chose to write about things that I find amusing, funny or interesting. I chose a topic of comparison of the two different cultures I now consider my own. And I chose that topic not just because I think it is funny, but because I care. Because I love Baku. Because I am Azeri. But I am also British now. And we, Brits, quite like mocking the system, and laughing at ourselves. It is a cultural thing, Troll.

I expected different reactions, of course. But what I did not see coming is how my suggestion that we, Azeries are on the whole, a peaceful nation can be interpreted as an insult.

So we will just have to agree to disagree, Troll. You have the right to be a creepy troll, and I have the right to say what I want. And call myself whatever I want. And meet some truly cool people of different nationalities via this blog- from all over the world.

Oh and I experienced this before- when someone thinks they speak a language pretty well, but completely misses the undertones and nuances of it. That, in your defense, might also be causing you problems, judging from your writing style.

Thank you for your continuous interest and dedication to my blog, any reader, even a spooky troll like you means more traffic, so I am not complaining.

And, Troll Atilla…. My last word on this is that:

Real men do not need Pseudonyms.


Scary Azeri.


  1. I completely disagree with Troll, that foreign people working in Azerbaijan are all losers and rotten garbage. I think those people are actually the best of the foreigners who are READY for adventures and new experience! I think Troll is actually jealous. He wants these pretty girls, this life and this money! But he is working for them and paid by them! And that is why he would never say his real name because he is AFRAID to lose even this lifestyle.

  2. Scary Azeri, a brilliant reply, although, I think, you shouldn't have bothered... I am on the same boat with you - married an English man back in Baku and now when I read your blog, I feel like you reflect on my life not yours... So, please keep up with more and more stories, they are lovely and I enjoy them so much!
    Have a nice day!

  3. I love your blog:-) Thanks for introducing me to a new word--Troll. LOL. Unfortunately there are bigots, ethnocentric losers, and warmongers everywhere. Just ignore them...

  4. Scary Azeri, sorry for this belated comment, as I have read this post of yours only now. I am also your hemderd, as Atilla also have left some insulting comments at my blog. And as I have no moderation, I have to delete them afterward with some embarrassment )))

    I now imagine what Roman people felt when Atilla was raiding their empire )))

  5. Atilla the troll is a curious creature. What kind of person takes the time to read someone's blog, demand the end of the blog, only to continue reading it? Perhaps his activity represents the t'internet equivalent of the playground crush. He's electronically pulling your hair in an attempt to draw your attention and adoration....

  6. Hmm....I sure hope not, northenrich! otherwise, not only me, but also some male bloggers he had this bizarre internet crush on will be pretty disturbed! :))
    No, unfortunately, we just have some people like him back home. But I met a lot of cool azeries through this blog, so I just have to remember this world is a funny and mixed place.

  7. Hello,
    I just wanted to say Thank You for your blog. I'm an American who is living in Shamaxi, AZ. No one can ever really understand what moving to such a different culture is like, but I've really enjoyed reading your perspective.

  8. I realized that every (successful) blogger get's a troll (or more of them) eventually. And every one of us feels compelled to answer the troll eventually. I did the same, although I ignored it for a while. Very good response, but I doubt he'll understand it.. cuz he's a troll.

  9. Scary Azeri,
    amazing post !