Wednesday, 29 April 2009

A Harem fantasy, or if I were a sultan I would have 3 wives...

Esli b ya bil sultan, ya b imel treh jen...
i troynoy krasotoy bil bi okrujen....

(words from an old Soviet movie)
If I were a sultan, I would have three wives. And I would then be surrounded by a tripple beauty!

I have recently decided, that harem is not such a bad concept, after all.

Tonight, I shared this somewhat unorthodox idea of mine with a couple of friends and their (Turkish) husbands.
As we shared a desert at the dinner table, I tried to deliver (in my broken Turkish) the benefits of such arrangement-in response to them making their old jokes about pretty girls.

Look, I said. What is really so bad about it? Just think: As my husband's first, and therefore, most senior and important wife, I would accept a managerial role. My, so far wasted, MBA could add weight to my status. I would slap the newcomers about (so they knew their place) and issue out the tasks. One of the wives could be cooking dinner, another-looking after the children... one more to take care of the cleaning, while someone else could satisfy our husband that night. We could even get one more (a smart one)- to go to work full time to make some extra cash.

And me..........well, I would enjoy endless hours in a spa nearby, do some painting, write a book, or simply read under a shady tree. Because,in my harem dreams there are sunny days and shady trees, of course. Like in any proper harem. Just think as well, what a relaxed,patient,beautifully groomed, loving and caring wife and mother I would then become. Because surely, all of the above mentioned tasks were never meant to be accomplished by one wife, but at least 5.

Everyone laughed, and one of the Turkish husbands got so exited, he turned his piece of cake into a mush with a fork. Look,-I said,-You clearly think that is a good idea. I mean, just look at your cake! How does that sound, I said-to you, a Turkish man, to be such a sultan?

No, -he replied, - You don't understand. Why would one buy a cow if all you needed was a glass of milk?

There you go. Typical men for you, eh. Turkish or not. You give them this idyllic picture, and they ruin it with their pragmatism .


  1. The problem in your logic, of course: you are number 1! But if you were number 2, not so great, right (and we both can't be number 1...)?

    That said, a beautiful and interesting book on harem life is "Harem: The World Behind the Veil" by Alev Lytle Croutier. Worth a look for women or men, Turks or not!

  2. Sorry, Scary, I think the Turk is right. It's all I can do to handle one ;)

  3. There is a TV series on HBO called "Big Love" that follows the life of a polygamist family in Utah ( After watching it you will realize how stressful this "harem" life really is for both the husband (earn enough to support 3 families, maintain 3 houses, 4 cars, find time for 9 kids) and the wifes (fight with each other, daily grocery shopping, cooking, babysitting). Of course, in the movie they are all devout Mormons, which makes their life even more miserable because LDS church has officially rejected polygamy.

  4. The Turkish guy said it - he-he. Harem made sense before the free market. Those who can afford hire a cook, a cleaner, a nanny, and let their darling 1st wife enjoy the salons, reading under shady trees and set up their painting studios... as for a "glass of milk" from that 4th cow? hmmm...

  5. Funny. But true...Oh well. I guess, will have to continue keeping up with all the pressures of the modern life.

  6. Bunch of bulls... I cant handle one wife let alone a harem... if a man has harem he would have to be unfair to his wives and in particular those who are being used rather than pampered.. would men agree to be part of a harem ? I dont think so. Then why women should ?

  7. Recently i saw HBO movie The Tudors and a thought about harems crossed my minds. Basically western-world kings were married but slept with any woman they like. Women didn't have much choice and had to obey (similarly to women in harems). The difference with harem is that sultants did not let other men to touch their women.