Friday, 19 June 2009

Yummy? mummies of our Stepford

I am such a hypocrite. There is me telling you how unkind it is that people stereotype Eastern European women, blah-blah. But in all honesty, I have no right to complain.

To be brutally honest, I myself can be (other than when I am just being really lovely):

a) Judgmental
b) Opinionated
c) Bitchy
d) Cynical

So, I know I was saying it was naughty to generalize. But here I am, getting ready to label up some local women for your amusement.

The other night I went to this cocktail party at my local girlfriend’s place nearby. That whole night was good fun, and I met some other type of local mummies that was quite different to the ones I already knew. So, it got me thinking about various types of mummies in our wealthy commuter village.

I have been entertaining myself by mentally splitting them into a few major categories …So here it goes:

Local mummies according to Scary Azeri:

Type 1-

The Ladyyyyyy

Hair: Shiny. Normally blond, but can be any colour as long as looks pampered and healthy.
Style: Boring, but expensive suburban chic. Think Boden.
Personality: Boring.
Favourite music: Twinkle, twinkle little star.
Cares about: Children parties, house renovations, home deliveries.

Looks down her elegant nose at Type 2

Type 2

Hair: Blond. Straight, with highlights.
Style: Glamour, with a touch of bling. Stilettos. Fake tans. French manicure and pedicure.
Personality: Girls just wanna have fun
Favourite music: Take That, Beyonce.
Cares about: Partying, looking glam, drinking.

Does not give a damn what Type 1 thinks about her.

Type 3
The (extreme) church goer

Hair: Unwashed
Legs: Unshaven.
Style: Plain clothing, often stained
Personality: Boring, but very kind and friendly.
Favourite music: Afraid to ask.
Cares about: God stuff. Going to church. Getting kids into the church school. Hanging out with church mates.

Does not look down at anyone: not allowed to.

Type 4
The Environmentalist

Hair: Mousy.
Style: None. No time for that when there are global warming issues to worry about.
Personality: Irritating
Favourite music: Flute
Cares about: Environment

Looks down at everyone who owns a 4-wheel drive.

And then there is the rest of them (includes my friends, of course!) who don’t quite fall into any of the above categories, but are just normal. Each in their own, unique way.


  1. Ha-ha-ha!
    Really love this post.
    By the way "Boden" is not that expensive as Ladiiiiies think...

  2. I'm still laughing... I loved your analysis.

  3. Re: Boden.

    Yes, but to me, Boden is very much suburban mama chic. It is more about the style. Husbands wear Boden shirts and socks, wives Boden cardigans. Very typical.

  4. just writing to say I really enjoy your blog. the stories are great: honest and witty. but just one question: is azerbaijan really in europe (eastern europe)? i always thought if that region as central asia.


    I had to look it up, and this was an interesting explanation from Wikipedia. I always thought it was sort of halfway here and halfway there. Because, as they explain it is not just geography that is in question but also culture, etc. I personally see more of an Eastern Europe than Asia when I think of back home. But I guess, officially it is both!

  6. Every one has some kind of label. I split the mummies into "cliques, freaks and geeks" in a post I wrote about this, but basically they fit your groupings, too.

    PS I am a geek trying to be a clique (no 4x4, but I do looooove Boden!)

  7. I've never heard of Boden, so I guess I know where that leaves me...

    Round our way, it's the Middle Classes vs the Chavs vs the Foreigners. We frequently go to the same mommy groups, but we never mix. Although I seem to have defacto ended up with the foreigners, probably because of the complete lack of Boden awareness.

    Anyway. Funny funny funny.

  8. Phew, pleased you had a cover-all category for "the rest of us", was getting worried about where I might fit in. NZ not so different!
    Love the blog!

  9. Hey kiwimom,
    nice to meet you, thank you for your comment, only I could not link back to you, have you got a blog? will look you up!

  10. What group do you belong to ?