Back in time or 1875 Medieval sh*t

This week, I have sunk really low in husband’s eyes.

I engaged in an old Chinese therapy, and kept telling everyone around me, people who actually live in this century, just how enjoyable that was.

My mother brought a set of banki for me. Banki, or suction cups, have been used in Azerbaijan for years to detoxify and de-stress Azeri bodies. Looooovely stuff. Really, it is just like a very strong back massage.

Back in my childhood days, we used them in a proper, traditional way: with cotton wool on a stick, some spirit, and fire. The hot glass then sucks on to your back, leaving lovely dark circles. And the darker are the circles, the more effective the procedure was meant to be.

Nowadays, cupping got somewhat more sophisticated, and my mother did not bring the old thick glass cups. (they are probably getting dusty on top of the old wardrobe in my Baku flat)

Instead, she produced an elegant little box with a cute semi-naked Chinese girl on the cover, smiling invitingly over her shoulder.

Wink-wink. Relax and enjoy, she seems to say. Look at me- she says- how gorgeous is that?

Inside, there were plastic cups of various sizes, with little green valves on top, and a pump. I am more keen on these plastic cups, without the whole cotton wool on fire ritual. Yet, the result is just as disgusting, and my back is now covered in bruises that look like giant squid love bites.

Husband is disapointed. F**** medieval, 1875 witchcraft b****cks, he says.

-He-he-he- I reply, and nod, and retire to my mother’s room for some more Chinese torture. Because, it feels good.

Oh, and Gwyneth Paltrow thinks it is worth a lot of money, and does not feel embarrassed to show it off at a film premiere, so why should I?
Just because something is old does not mean it is dangerous for you. Would not use it on my child though.