The New Year’s Eve is a majorly chmominating event. You always feel like you should be having an exciting evening. Even if you are a big fat chmo* for the rest of the year, you feel that,somehow, it is absolutely critical that you try your best to not be a chmo on that one night. And it is no good telling yourself that it means nothing to you and it is just another evening. Deep inside, you still know what it really means. That you are a chmo. `
I ask my local friends about their plans.
“Oh, we are invited to our friends’ place!”- they say excitedly.- “With a few other couples. For a sleep-over with children!” Or “Oh, we are going to a party!”. Or “Oh, we are going to Barbados!”.
And I admit, a couple of years ago, I would feel like a chmo. Because, I have not been invited to an exciting party. With a lot of good-looking, young and trendy people laughing and drinking cocktails all night long. And it does not even matter that, realistically, I might not even want to go. It is like being asked to marry someone. You might not want to get married, but it is still nice to be asked.
Yet, none of this is important now, because it is not just me and Husband anymore. It is me, Husband and a duck.
There is just something satisfying about having a duck for New Year. Honestly, who needs cool friends and cocktail parties if you have a duck?
A duck makes everything OK. It also makes your New Year sound a lot better.
Just compare this:
-So what did you end up doing for the New Year?
-Oh, nothing really, we just stayed in.
-So what did you do for the New Year?
-Oh, we stayed in and had a duck...
Straight away, you are elevated from the chmo position to a position of someone cool, who might have had a few party invitations, but decided that she preferred a quiet, cosy evening with a duck.
So I am quite satisfied with my New Year’s Eve now. Also, this year we had a visitor from abroad- a friend from the states came to see us. Why would a handsome single American male in his late thirties chose to spend his New Year’s Eve in an English suburb with a married couple, an old smelly Rottweiler and a loud 4-year old is beyond my comprehension. Yet, I can work with that. I mean, I can make that sound cool.
What did you do for the New Year?
Oh, a friend of ours came over from Chicago....
So, I sat there on the sofa, G&T in my hand, surrounded by tasty smells coming from the kitchen, and I thought to myself: this is cool. This is what the New Year should be like. In the company of Husband, G&T, a good friend (who decided we were an exciting enough company to fly across the ocean for) and....the duck. Yes, very importantly- the duck.
*In case you are new to this blog, CHMO is an abbreviation for Chelovek Moralno Obosranniy. (Russian) Means a Person Morally Shat Upon. I cannot think of a better expression for a total loser.