Saturday, 3 April 2010

Bad publicity is also publicity?

So we are getting noticed, guys. Not by the right people, but still. As someone pointed out bad publicity is still publicity.

You see, we are getting complaints. Yay!

First, the magAZine editor received a Soviet style letter, signed by a collective of tovarishes who were all terribly insulted- not by anything specific that I said, but the tone I used.

I then had an email from one of the gang calling me an IDIOT.

And then, this comment I received today, was particularly good:

"I ve read your post and was terrified .How could you humiliate Azerbaijani girls and advise to English men not to marry just for reason that they are close to their family? You are married to English man!!! So he has to divorce you then!!

You had better talk about that English people have lost normal relationship with their parents instead of accusing Azerbaijani girls!!! It is really tragedy!!!

And about nickname Scary Azeri. It is insulting, humiliating, disgusting, Do you realise that you insulting the Azerbaijan nation??? If you dont respect yourself at least respect Azerbaijanians. it is shame!!!

I am asking you to change your nickname and putting Scary and your name not Azery.

You have got a writing talent but you write no nice things.
"

I mean, what can I say to that?

Try to explain? No point. Try to justify? Can’t be bothered.

So, I just wished her all the best and told her to stay away from this blog, so it would not upset her again.

But please help me out here. If you know what causes this utter lack of understanding, perhaps you could enlighten me.

Is it her English? Did she just misinterpret what I was trying to say? Is it lack of a sense of humour? Or is it, and yes, I might have to say it out loud- stupidity? Because, let’s face it. There are a lot of stupid people in this world. An awful, or as darling Sevda here would say- disgusting lot of stupid people in this world.
Ho-hum.

58 comments:

  1. Oh boy, you’re not going to like this one, but in my trademark bluntness, I will go for it to hopefully help clarify this a bit. The response is quite expected given that people generally don’t like being subjects of sharp satire. I haven’t met any Americans, or French, or Russians who enjoy being a butt of a joke. Azeri people are no exception. Besides, if our Momma raised us right, we’re supposed to sweep garbage under the rug, not present it to the guests. That’s one side of it. The other side of it is in the perspective. You may have fully relocated to the “other side” physically and mentally & except for the occasional reminders all but forgotten what it’s like to live there. Except they don’t know about it, to them you are one of them. So the rhetoric that would be barely tolerated from the outsider wouldn’t be tolerated at all from you.
    My Dad used to have a saying that a good dog barks in it’s own yard. I know exactly what he meant by that, especially now. Sometimes it’s unfair, sometimes painful, but I have to accept the position of people who live there however different it may be from mine, since they are in their own proverbial yard and I’m obviously not.

    ReplyDelete
  2. As Don Quixote said: Ladran, Sancho, es señal de que avanzamos.
    "They are barking, Sancho, so we must be moving ahead."

    Keep the good work. We will never be able to please everybody. Just focus on the ones you please: your loyal readers.
    Saludos.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I'm guessing Sevda has a problem understanding irony and sarcasm, at least in English.

    I like how she is trying to protect "Azerbaijan nation" from your attacks. She stopped short of calling you an armenian spy, though, that's a good sign.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Congratulations! Your writing is having an impact! There will always be people who will not agree with you and others who will go out of their way to be offended by anything you say; the best course of action is to ignore them and keep doing what you are doing because, if you are getting a reaction, you are on the right track.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I haven`t read all your essays yet. But the ones I read as a girl living in Azerbaijan I found obsolutely appropriate. They are interesting to me.

    P.S.Returning home late, after hard drink when a husband beats his wife, her family say "don`t think about divorce, it`s a blot on our name,and you can never get married again, what "djamaat" will say?!".
    I think we are Scary.

    ReplyDelete
  6. @ Gabriela: I love that. :) You are full of fantastic quotes!

    @Nata:
    So are you saying I can not bark at Azeri yard anymore? Because I have lived in this yard for a while? :)I say people should be able to bark away at whatever yard they fancy barking at. :)

    If you are saying that I must respect an opinion of someone like Sevda only because she happens to live in Baku (for whatever reason, we dont even know if she does live there. She might be writing from abroad) and I dont anymore, then I have to disagree.

    @Riyad: You are right! I am surprised she did not call me an Armenian spy. I am sure I have that to look forward to at some point though. :)

    @Mike: Yes, I realize that. I was just reading a little piece written by the editor of our local glossy magazine yesterday...she was going on and on about how much she hated Jonathan Ross. How he had a "dirty mind".

    Made me laugh, because I think he is quite funny, and I don't at all find him annoying. Neither do I think he has a dirty mind, and even if he did, that would not bother me. So yes, people are very, very different.

    ReplyDelete
  7. @Kama: Hey, thanks for following and thanks for your comment. I hope you have fun here. :)I dont think we, Azeries in general, are scary.
    I don't see my chosen nickname as some sort of a label for the whole nation. :) It is just a silly joke, it rhymed quite well, so I used it. It is catchy. So no serious political message of any significance behind it, I am afraid. :)

    ReplyDelete
  8. kerry stalonas4 April 2010 at 20:57

    they've said it all above...RESULT as babychka would say...love you...:)

    ReplyDelete
  9. I don't blame Sevda,I absolutely understand her fillings.That is not her fault,because she is child of Azery society.Once I asked expat:How back our medicine from UK? 10 years,20 years? I got honest answer: 100.!We need ages to reach level civilized countries,not only bad medicine is our big problem,ours brainwashed minds need being treated too...

    ReplyDelete
  10. Thank you so much Scary Azeri for not posting my last 2 comments to you and Riyad Mammadov. Yes in this world a lot of stupid people like you taking nickname like Scary Azeri.
    Think about how you reacted to critic . Of course you dont like it but you dont have any right to insult me calling me stupid person!!!
    Why you should not marry an Azeri girl sounds discussing like your nickname!!!

    ReplyDelete
  11. @Sevda: You will not believe this but I have not received your last two comments. As you might have noticed, I tend to publish even most critical ones. It spices things up a little for me. LOL
    This is frustrating! How will I ever know just how many people hate me if Blogger does not always work properly?

    I did not technically call you stupid. I was so shocked that someone could misunderstand things so badly, that I wanted the readers to explain to me what it was. I asked if maybe your English is so bad that you don't grasp humour. But stupidity often is a possibility in life, and can not be ignored as a possible explanation. :)

    You are right, nobody likes critisism. Look at you getting annoyed at MY nickname. You seem to think it affects the whole glorious nation. I am impressed you think my blog would be that powerful in this world. Ha. I wish.

    ReplyDelete
  12. You mean you were not trying to insult the WHOLE Azeri nation.......so what other names could you possibly have had.......ummm.....Hairyazeri, now that also fits quite a few girls, upper lip hair removal is good business in Baku! Fairyazeri, now if you were in show business and a guy that would work............I have found in life that people small in stature usually have a chip on their shoulder.......I wonder if the same is true of people from small nations???

    ReplyDelete
  13. @ Anonymous..."Lairy" is pretty good, too. :)
    I agree. Nations are just like people. Some are more mature and more confident, others have enormous issues and are full of complexes.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Gosh, it is steaming in here ... I just joined the group of followers :-) never done that before, and in fact , not into blogging at all, so there you go, but reading your blog for long time now while feeding my little monster, daughter i mean :-) went back and re-read the "why not to marry azery girls" post, i'm very metiqulous you know :-) just to see what the all fuss is about...

    oy Sevda, ah Sevda :-) I think you too should read it again, and maybe with a dictionary? :-) cheerio

    ReplyDelete
  15. @Guler,
    Thank you so much for this. And thank you for following, for some reason it always makes me happy when I see the numbers growing. :) I am pathetic, I know.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Once I told an American acquaintance of mine that I don't like the particular rock group he was so fond of. In response, he blamed the little nation I belong to, saying that I don't like the group because I don't understand it and I don't understand it because I am from a little nation. Some Americans are so recognizable in their arrogance and ignorance:))) I told him that he can come and talk to me when he speaks as many languages as I do, and know about other cultures as much as I do.:) Sevda definitely has trouble understanding English. And the nickname Scaryazery suits you beautifully.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Don't thank me for following, thank the bad publicity - it must have worked :-) "ne viderjala dusha poeta" :-)

    ReplyDelete
  18. Guler leave your sarcasm with yourself. oy Sevda, ah Sevda :-) I think you too should read it again, and maybe with a dictionary? :-) cheerio

    I dont need a dictionary but what i am sure i know that you will be a perfect advocate for Scaryazeri.


    Riyad Mammadov
    I dont have any problem understanding irony and sarcasm. I did not know that sarcasm in English can be different from sarcasm in Russian or another language. Does sarcasm have nationality.
    There is limit with sarcasm irony and joke.
    You and people like Scary Azeri represent Azerbaijan nation in abroad with sarcasm and irony to own women and nation. What is a pity!!!

    ReplyDelete
  19. Scary Azeri you did not call me stupid technically and how did you call me then? It is like Azeri saying" Gizim sene deyirem gelinim sen eshit"

    My English is not perfect but it is enough to understand sarcasm and i am not scared to write in English.
    Did you think about if any foreigner read your blog what he or she is going to think about Azerbaijan Nation?did you think about what kind of messages you give in your blog. Just negative , because most of your posting about Azerbaijan are negative and with sarcasm and irony. I did not find anything positive.I dont think that sarcasm forward your nation is a good things.It is just a pity!!!
    I can see that most of Azeri people who live abroad become straight away so much modern and try to be like European or Americans and everything there are perfect for them. They dont see positive things in own country.And after that they start to hate and speak badly about own country.
    why dont you write that in your country many good tradition. first of all Respect between generations,that in the bus young people give up their seats to old and man to woman. That if teenager shouts in the bus then adult will not afraid to tell him to stop it and after get stabbed or end up in the police station for touching teenager.
    That parents in Azerbaijan dont worried that their children will have a sex at age of 13 and get pregnant or start to smoke or use drugs. And that woman cant have a sex before marriage which is perfectly works with any religion
    That there is a tradition that Azeri woman not allow to smoke. Which is wonderful, because after we dont have a problem to give a birth to unhealthy baby.
    How said one of your reader that medicine in Azerbaijan back from the uk 100 years. Yes that is true and just like all old soviet republics .It is not just our country has bad medicine which is normal when you you are with russian you can not progress. Education at the shcool in the Uk is very low and teacher not allow to discipline the pupils. pupils swear everywhere and also most of the people swear in the street including women.
    It is not everything is perfect in the UK.

    I wish Azerbaijan will be like Uk one day with democracy and good medicine but without loosing those valuable traditions and dignity.
    I am very happy and proud of that i brought up with al these tradition.
    and finally I want to tell you if don't like your nickname and topic "why you should never marry an Azeri girl" and also advise and messages you give to English man in that writing why you feel like you are right and I am wrong.What is wrong with me if I dont like and you feel you need to protect your writing and telling me that I don't understand English and irony and joke and etc.. it sounds like if person does not like what you write then this person automaticly become not mature, with complex or stupid and the same time you become very clever.

    ReplyDelete
  20. yes you are really scary azerıes you and all who just agree wıth u. that ıs why englısh call you scary azerıes as you are just cowards who left own country to shıt armenıans and tryıng to buıld a new lıfe ın a communıty where YOU CALLED SCARY . WELL YOU DESERVE IT. WELL DONE.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Right, I am getting bored of this, so I am hereby officially closing this discussion forum. Thank you sevda for sending the blog link to your relatives and friends, but I am not going to publish any more silly aggressive crap here, even if it brings more traffic. Not worth it.

    Just one last thing though,Sevda. You are wrong on so many levels. Every single good thing you mentioned about Azeri culture, I already talked about.

    I talked about our values and the way we respect the elderly. I talked about family closeness, even though you completely misinterpreted it. There are many great things about Azerbaijan and some really crazy or funny things, too. And I talk about them all. And I joke about my life in the UK- a LOT.

    This blog does not exist to show Azeri nation in the bad light. People like you, sadly, do.

    ReplyDelete
  22. for Sevda from a 100% Azeri about her comment: "when you are with russian you can not progress". You really are brainwashed...

    ReplyDelete
  23. Repeating the same thing over and over again does not constitute a discussion. Both sides in this case have valid points and both don’t hear each other. The hardest thing for anyone is to put one self in the other person’s place, but it is the only way to truly learn about yourself and others. Provided we are here to learn of course.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Sevda darling..........you left out sooooo many important traditions of Azerbaijan........
    1. Re-virgining, the traditional practice or repairing the truth of sex-before marriage.
    2. First shag, the traditional predilection for providing a young guy's first sexual experience with a prostitute accompanied by an older brother or other relative.
    3. Suck and go, the tradition of preserving the myth of an absence of teenage pregnancy by providing back street drop-in abortion clinics.
    4. Magic phone, the young girls' tradition of obtaining a new up market mobile phone by letting her boyfriend in the back door.
    5. Pretty lies, the tradition of not telling the truth because it is uncomfortable, or doesn't look nice...............
    the list could go on......and on......and on........and.........

    ReplyDelete
  25. "This blog does not exist to show Azeri nation in the bad light. People like you, sadly, do." So true.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Sevdi razniye nuzhni, sevdi razniye vazhni...

    ReplyDelete
  27. Your snarky guest commenter is sorry she can't be as funny as you are. And you are correct, her English is not great. Ignore. Move on. Keep up the great posts!

    ReplyDelete
  28. @DMT: Hey there,Jennifer,

    I have this bizarre feeling, and the more time I spend blogging the more often I get it, is that I have looked you up before, and seen your photo/profile. :) No idea where from. expat+harem? somewhere else?

    anyway, just wanted to say thanks for stopping by, and thank you for kind comments!

    PS: there is something strange going on with your profile as the link to your blog does not show much. I had to google you to find your proper blog and more info on you.

    ReplyDelete
  29. yeah i read scaryazeri's blog and yeah i'm a foreigner australian as it happens don't get much more foreign than that.............never heard of this azerbayjan place sounds like its a bunch of fucking idiots there but what would i know we are all friggin criminals down here......are the girls a good shag btw?

    ReplyDelete
  30. @Anonymous Australian: Well, you should not make up your mind about the whole country based on these few comments!(or were you referring to the whole blog?)

    Because, however tempting it might be to judge Australians based on YOUR comment here, I know better than that. I assure you there are enough idiots all over this world, equally distributed. Same as good and bad shags, I would think.

    ReplyDelete
  31. Cool!!! I go away for one week and see what happens!

    ReplyDelete
  32. @Sharon: I know, you left me to defend myself all alone! well, not all alone, thanks to the others. :)

    @Anonymous Australian: I received your other comment but you overstepped the boundary, and since it is my blog, I set those as and where I wish. I also have a feeling you are not who you say you are. So, I am afraid, I have to ask you to kindly F off, to put it in Australian, or whatever your real nationality is, terms.

    ReplyDelete
  33. blimey scari, no need to spit out yer dummy! I was only asking, did your ole man read it or something? so you don't like the idea of twinning quilpie with baku or is it your native commy habits sneakin out, censorship and suppression an all that? personally i reckon its a cracker i mean two shithole places where folks love a good barbie only you guys call it a kebab or somesuch name. see ya cobber

    ReplyDelete
  34. No, it was not your joke about twinning the cities I was annoyed with.

    Also, you said you never heard of Azerbaijan before, but you seem to think it is a shithole? And your comment on 3 million sheep made me think you are a lot more at home there than you claim to be, my dear. If you want to tell me who you really are, we can stop the commy censorship games. :)

    ReplyDelete
  35. Jan jiger sen narahat olma. Azeri nation is Scary! I love you endlessly and keep writing until you can make those to realize by covering Sh**T smell doesn't go away.

    Jalee,
    Chicago

    ReplyDelete
  36. So strange... I agree with so many things u said ScaryAzeri... We all know that. I do agree with all you said. Thats why I gave a birth and passport to my daughter in other "civilized" country....but u made me sad... why to discuss all these with the world? English people dont like to discuss those who used to kill their own children for money. Germans never pronouce "gitler" and get ashamed when u start talking about "esses". Why should we start talking of something that will never change. People there do not want to change anything. Why to abuse them? Those who want to change....are giving birth to babies in "civilized" countries. Regarding Sevda. Only one question to those who blamed her english: WHY DOES SHE SPEAK PERFECT ENGLISH?. Is it a must? Who is lost? I dont share her opinion or way of life....but clever guys....arent you lost? U used to speack "perfect" russian...now u switched to "perfect" english.... I am simply sad... With those who live stupid life in Azerbaijan...and "intelegent" life with lots of humor in abroad....

    ReplyDelete
  37. Also, you said you never heard of Azerbaijan before, but you seem to think it is a shithole?

    Scary Azeri, isnt it you who first started calling Azerbaijan a ...... ?

    U know, when you give urself a bad nickname, or to yourchild... People start repeating it.

    U'd better put that effort in writting to azeri girls to run away and change their life. explaining them that this is possible. And this is not end of life if you r far from ur parents. They r revirganating..... I just feel sorry for them... Thay cant have sex at time the want.... put ur effort in explaining tham, that U MUST HAVE SEX WHENEVER YOU WANT IT. EVEN AT AGE OF 13. Dont discuss it, with austrlian and english husband at home. Show, ur engliosh friends and husband..that you do smth good for ur nation rahter than making fun of it....
    U r not armenina spy, :) thats for sure...and sorry to say... coz you SAID THE TRUTH - PRAVDU MATKU. I just dont understand. Why? Moya probabushka govorila eshe, cto daje sobaka znayet cto posle togo kak poshel v tualet, nujno zakopat....

    ReplyDelete
  38. btw I am not anonymous. I am Mehriban, Just lazy to get into all these procedures with ID and staff.... So, if u have smth to say. Go ahead.

    ReplyDelete
  39. @Mehriban: I said I was closing this discussion, but it is so tempting not to....:)

    So hold on a minute. Let me get it right.

    You don’t understand me, you disapprove, you think I called Azerbaijan a shithole (which, of course, I haven’t but never mind)…
    and yet, you are basically suggesting that, instead, I should be helping Azeri girls escape the country, have a LOT of sex from the age of 13 and give birth abroad? Right, right…I need more coffee to digest that this morning. :)

    About Sevda's English. It was not that I was blaming her for having bad English. Not at all.

    It is just that language is so much more than a bunch of words. When you can speak it fluently and understand nuances of it, you can manoeuvre within it a bit more. You can see what is intentionally mean and what is a light hearted gentle mockery. Without being comfortable with it, it is hard to appreciate what someone is trying to say. I never called my home country a shithole. As I said to some other person who insulted me before, I talk about stuff BECAUSE I CARE. Also, I mock the UK non-stop and complain about things I find stupid here. Do you think some Brits read it and think ‘who the hell are you to say this, F off back to your shithole country’? Well, I am sure some of them do! But do I care? Nope. Nyet. This is the beauty of blogging. You say what you think and if someone likes it, they read it and laugh with you. If not, they leave. Easy!

    ReplyDelete
  40. i cannot find the post on "why not to marry azeri girls.." can you please let me know how i can read it?

    Well, commenting on things that are going on here..i can say that scary is a brave person and is not afraid to challenge things and dig...thats good, thats called critical thinking, that is what we in azerbaijan need more..cheers, akbar

    ReplyDelete
  41. @Akbar: You can find it on the left hand side of this page, under "the most popular postings". Let me know if you found it OK, otherwise I will have to remember how to post links in the comments section. :) thanks for your support.

    ReplyDelete
  42. Was it a hint :) that I had sex at age of 13 and escaped to give birth in the other country rather than my own? LOOOL very smart scary azeri :) u know kak kulturno oskorbit. :) Listen, I have had so much sex, that dont remember which one was my daughter and which was at the age of 13 ;) I left my country 20 years later, just for info. I am not that scary :) I lived in Baku very open minded life, beleive me.... I would love other azeri girls live same life there..... Just as they wish to. I dont want them to have sex. I want them to live their own life. without papas and mamas ;) I dont want to leave ur blog. I like it...go ahead. But, try not to insault people.... U dont like those who disagree... be smarter than that. I DO NOT DISAGREE with what u said. U were right saying ... people hate us.. we live in their country. British, Americans, French. Why whould they like us? If....we r not at home at our own home... I agree with you dear. I am living in US, have 2 american babies :) feel the same u do. The plus of US is, here u can afford feeling at home... I was living in Italy, I just ran away... Europe will never accept you....even if u change european passport 3 times ( with exparation of date) This topic is close to me... thats why I am here :) and didnt let u stop talking about that... I wonna see other people's opinion...
    I was simply sad yesterday... at least world knows that we know our problem... and also we are smart enough to tell them about their problems... We read more books... Coz, soviet life gave us only one entertaiment - books. U r right - we r free to leave ur blog. I will, as soon as I feel so. Never ever would allow anyone to spoil even one minute of my day :) Ok, I am here... for a while :) Have good day guys.... Ours is not that good. Its cloudy... like London :) Mehriban

    ReplyDelete
  43. @Mehriban: It would be very Azeri of me to send such a hint. I dont do hints very well. If I wanted to insult you, believe me I would not resort to hints. I did not at all mean you had sex at 13 and had a baby. I did not even know anyone with a name like Mehriban could have a child at the age of 13 in Baku. :) That would be extreme freedom! :) So honestly, no I did not mean that. I was just laughing at your scenario for my blog. :) Hope you get it now. you see what I mean, people often dont understand each other. Anyway, I am thankful for your visits and your comments. I dont mind if people disagree. It makes the discussion more interesting. I just dont like stupidity and sometimes explode when people say some really bizarre things. :) I am working on tolerance.
    Nice to meet you.

    ReplyDelete
  44. @Scary: Слушай, чего это тут Австалиец наплел, и на каком языке он пишет? Реальный дурик.

    @Mehriban: You could write a book about your adventures, Scary can collaborate I'm sure :) Where in US are you?

    ReplyDelete
  45. yes, i found it, thanks. Hmmm...it seems that all this mess about sevda is mostly connected with her ignorance, full stop. On the other hand, i didnt find anything intriguing or challenging in it, i was expecting it to be more thought provoking since it genereted so much disccusion :) looking forward reading very challenging and thought provoking posts of yours, cheers, akbar

    ReplyDelete
  46. @Nata: Don't worry about him, he was not genuine. I realized it based on a few comments. I am turning into a virtual Sherlock here, honestly. :)

    @ Akbar: Well,it was pretty innocent and light-hearted, as I said before. Thanks for your suggestion though, I will work on getting more thought provoking. And challenging, too. :)

    ReplyDelete
  47. Thank you for taking feedback so good :) i realize im getting more and more into your blog ( well, to be honest i have been reading it sneakily for a while now ;)) i guess next step should be registration :) but im too lazy for that beuraucratic move :) akbar

    ReplyDelete
  48. Go on, join in the gang! :) You know you want to.

    ReplyDelete
  49. .....and one day when we are big, we can start scary azeri T-shirts. :)))

    ReplyDelete
  50. @Scary: Good idea about T-shirts,I'm the first of the queue :-)

    ReplyDelete
  51. I thought you are already selling those t-shirts?
    Check out the link...

    ReplyDelete
  52. @Riyad: That is SO COOL? :)))) I must have one of those?! Is this photopshop? I have no idea how you did it! Ha-ha.

    One day. one day.....:))

    ReplyDelete
  53. Hahaha. OK you can be my distributor. How about 10% deal? ( must start low, right)

    ReplyDelete
  54. Nata, U gave me an idea. If I start writting.....paoplo coelho is to retire lool Though, I have it on mind for some time in future...
    I am in NY. Guess, u r living in US?! Mehriban

    ReplyDelete
  55. btw, My adventures... nobody is to collaborate with. I promise... "literary ecstasy" ;) Mehriban

    ReplyDelete
  56. @Mehriban: Well, good luck with the story, it should be interesting :) Yes, I live in US, just north of Chicago in WI. I think I know what you were talking about earlier, even though I lived only in US since leaving Baku and I travel to Europe & Asia on business & vacation. Even short trips are enough to get an idea of the differences. I TRY to keep an open mind & assume nothing; it helps to have a better experience everywhere.

    ReplyDelete
  57. @Nata: Nice to meet you. How long have you been living in US? Its the only place on earth I feel at home. Though, it took me a couple of years to come up to.I love New York. I enjoy evrey single day of my staying here. I didnt experience those nightmares that were stated by scaryazeri. My family and me, we lived quite different lifestyle even then were in Baku. But, of coz, we are aware of them :) Thats the reason that we are all seeded all over the world. But, dont tell me guys, YOU really cared about what "jamahat" would say :) I wont beleive that. Mehriban

    ReplyDelete