Wednesday, 2 June 2010

"Hello my new boyfriend!!!"

Finally! Azeries broke through to the global spam emails! Until today, I have only seen Hi my name is Natasha from Russia, but this one is from Azerbaijan! How exciting!

Below email was received by my friend today. I am not even going to attempt to change a single word in it. I thought it was just perfect as it was.

Hello my new boyfriend !!!

I am very happy that I found you.

It would be so nice if we know each other better.
I want to tell you a lot about myself. But now I shell speak only some
about me!
My name is Zemfira. I life in the country of Azerbaijan. My city is
named Askeran. It is not great, there
about 2,000 humans.
But in this city of almost everyone knows each other and are friends.
In our city people do not close the door, because we trust each other.
In Azerbaijan, if a person speaks deceit, or attempts to steal something
that  it can be very severely
punished severely, or even expelled from the town. Here we have a
Askeran all very strict and we can not tell lies to
each other or anyone else. So we have a lot of different traditions,
I will respond you about them in the following the messages.
I wrote you and try to find in you my second half.
I'll be very happy if you write and tell me more about you.
So I urge you not try to write obscene words.
I'm just not going to write you bad words and will not try to insult you
in mails.
If you do not want to respond me this message, please do not contact me
better to easy not write to this mail.
Mymailbox is
I'm also very please do not ask me for insulting me photos
I will not give you such foto. Because I'm honest women.
I am responding you this message because I am very serious about
starting with your relationship.
I hope that this message will be a wonderful begin to our messaging.
I will eagerly await your letter.
All the best, your dear friend Zemfira

How wonderful is that? Thanks to Safura and Eurovision, I predict the imminent increase in the number of the internet bride emails pouring into our mail boxes. Watch out for your special girlfriend in your junk box!


  1. Why don't i ever get e-mails like that. I only get the ones telling me to buy Viagra. Not good.J

  2. haaaaa...that is so hillarious...=)
    actually, scary azeri, i found your blog cz i was trying to find out if they gonna build IKEA in Baku, well not exactly in, the rumors are it will be near the airport and former bina market, anyways... one of the links led me to your blog. the next 40 minutes i spent laughing)
    you know i am wondering what do you think is your style, sence of humor and irony is better undersood and appreciated by ex soviets kind of people or other kind of people...
    well, will be reading you from now on...inshallah)))

  3. I feel the purity of naive azery woman in this email. I loved even though I am a woman. I don't think she would be happy with her email being posted

  4. You should email girlzemfira as an experiment

  5. I wonder about all the dreams Zemfira from Askeran has. She might even be expecting an answer.
    I think Vicki has a good point.

  6. @Anonymous 1: Thanks, I never heard that gossip. My mother would be very excited if Ikea opens in az. she was so angry when i took her there for the first time! she could not believe how affordable things were compared to the turkish shops in Baku, you should have seen her. As for the style and humor, I actually find it works quite well on all sorts of cultures and nationalities! If you look at the followers of this blog, they come from all over the world. I love it.
    @ Anonymous2: It was a spam, clearly, so I doubt it is a real azeri girl! Otherwise, what was she doing sending emails to someone she does not know? It is one of those junk things, I am convinced.
    @Jurate: You made me think of Samantha in Sex& the City! :)
    @Vicki: You try! I bet it is spam though; and you will forever be getting similar emails.

  7. The New Boyfriend2 June 2010 at 22:25

    I love the way she tries to set up how she's so honest, and where she's from its impossible to lie. Also, she/he/it heads off the usual reply most people would give - crude suggestions on where to stick her email.

    I do remember some guy in the US stringing along a Nigerian scammer. There was the inevitable call for money and he countered with some very creative excuses for ages ('there was flooding and the bridge to my house was washed away so I couldn't get to my bank, etc'). It ended in laughs for him and a cry of criminal anguish from Lagos when he posted the whole exchange on a website for chuckles.

    I think there's an opportunity here, no? For sure Zemfira is a phony, and ripe for milking for humour. I dare any of you to mail a convincing reply (from an anon account of course) and send the results to Scary.

  8. Scary, you are surprisingly unaware of what is going in Azerbaijan! Askeran is now under armenian occupation. There are no Azeris living in Askeran!

  9. @The New Boyfriend: It clearly is your task to reply to Zemfira, you were the chosen, the only one for her. :) If I were you I would even set up a separate email account just to enjoy this. You know you want to.

    @Sofisticos: Honestly? I did not even know it existed!
    I thought it might have been made up, just like Zemfira herself. If I for a minute thought this was a genuine girl, however stupid she sounds, I would have never put her email address here for everyone to see. I have my morals, you know. :)

  10. In Georgia I heard a story (I assume it is a town legend, i am sure you can google up this story))about an armenian from Georgia who went to Yakutsk,a remote city in Eastern Siberia,and taught armenian as English to kids in Yakutsk. Kids read books, did exams in armenian and everybody (including the students and teachers of the school)was sure that the kids were doing English. I think this Zemfira girl (armenian - as I said there are no Azeris in Askeran) can do something like that:)Your morals are safe:)

  11. @sofisticos: hmm..not very flattering towards the people of Yakutsk. :) Hope none of them read this blog. There really is so much spam in this world! LOL

  12. The funniest part is that Askeran is within the territory of NK, right outside of Stepanakert/Xankendi. Those agencies probably need to hire researchers, to sound more ...em, credible!

    But at least she can be praised for her attitude towards other people: she refers to population as "humans" :)