I wrote this, admittedly light-hearted, piece for Womens' Forum, but they thought it was not serious enough. But here is the beauty of blogging. I can be my own editor, and, as an editor, I say: There are too many people trying too hard to appear serious in this world.
You have most probably seen the Mel Gibson movie “What women want”. It was simple for him to read girls minds once he zapped himself with a hair dryer. But was that movie realistic? I am not talking about the magical electrocution that empowered his mind-reading. Never mind that. Let’s focus on the more important issue here.
What do women actually want? What do we want from these poor emasculated, stressed out, underpaid, overweight creatures we call men?
Let’s be honest. We want everything. Which is a problem, as the society generally expects us to get all that from one person. But realistically, He has to come in a set of five, if not ten different males to live up to our unrealistic expectations.
We want them to be fit. We want them to be hot and handsome. Dangerous but tame. Bad, but miraculously turned good once they met us. Desired by everyone else but faithful. Faithful, but keeping us wondering- just in case. We don’t want to relax, you know.
But that is just about the appearances! You say. I apologize. How superficial of me!
We want them to be smart, of course. Otherwise, we would not want to breed with them, in case our kids turn out dumb. We want them to handle any pretentious conversation at dinner parties with graceful ease.
We want them to be able to fix everything in the house and kill all the spiders. We also would like to know they can kick ass like that vampire guy from Twilight- just in case we need protecting one day.
Most importantly though, when we finally marry our prince, we want him to provide. Because, whatever we say, we like it when men provide us with a financial stability. Does not matter if we ourselves are successful and have a good career-shmareer...whatever. We would like to feel secure and comfortable in our partnership with the chosen male.
On the other hand, should that male get out there to work his arse off in order to keep us in the style we so wish to get accustomed to, we complain. Of course, we complain! Because, most probably, he won’t be around much, will he? He is busy, remember? Making our life secure and cosy.
And if he is not around, how can he spend more quality time with us? How can be bath the kids and read them bedtime stories? How can he take us out regularly during the week to provide all that entertainment, watch movies and party all night long? He barely has the energy to kiss us goodnight.
So much for the romance! But the problem is, we need romance. We want adventure, excitement and passion! We want kisses like on the first date and walks on (preferably Caribbean) beaches.
And finally, if we do actually get it all....we most probably will not want that male anymore. We would just get bored.
Because, we are designed to always want more. And once we have it all, there is nothing left to complain about. And how unbearably boring would that be?