A typical British beach day out.

You might be looking at this picture and thinking it is the late Michael Jackson. Or, perhaps, a modest Muslim woman covering herself up from strangers’ glances...But no. This is me. On holiday, up in North Wales, on the beach.

I did not come here prepared for an English beach holiday. As you can see, behind me, my father in law installed a (popular around here) canvas on wooden sticks called a windbreak. Self-explanatory and very much necessary. First time we went to the beach we used one, second time we decided we should double-glaze and used two.

I don’t really know what I thought we would be doing here for a week. I guess I assumed it would not be hot enough to be on the beach. So I did not pack any sun hats or sun block. But what I did not realize is that for these guys, a bit of sunshine and no rain means beach weather. So I ended up wearing my child’s sun hat, my mother in law’s orange Crocs and beach towels wrapped around me for the first time.

However, my friends, yesterday I felt so much more comfortable, that I even went for a swim. I have to honestly say that the second I plunged into the ice cold water, I thought my heart was about to stop. But after a few minutes of vigorous kicking, jumping up and down and some profanity it felt pleasant. In a masochistic kind of way. So you see, you can get used to it, really. And I felt pretty proud of myself. I am properly British now. I go to the beach and even swim in temperatures in which any decent Azeri family would probably put on some woollen jumpers and switch on the heaters.

PS You might have noticed there is something unusual going on with the light and colour of this picture. That is because my in-laws don't have a scanner. But, being a dedicated blogger that I am, I figured a way around it and took a picture of the sketch with my phone; which I could then successfully upload on my laptop. Voila! How clever is that, eh?