Monday, 15 November 2010

On equality and diversity

Today we went to a private scan. Not just because you get the results straight away as opposed to two weeks on the free NHS; but also because the NHS would not tell you the sex of the baby. Sorry, correction. Certain hospitals have a policy of not telling the sex of the baby. 

I think it is a fantastic example of how crazy this country has become. You see, everyone knows the reason why they don’t tell you the sex in our nearest hospital. Because of the certain ethnic minority groups, who might not want a baby girl but would prefer a boy. I would dare to suggest that there might be quite a few Muslims in that group, but that is only my wild guess. My natural question to this explanation is ‘so what?’ Well, they are concerned that those certain people might want to get rid of their healthy but unwanted baby girls. My next question to this is.....So? 

Honestly. This is moronic on so many levels that I don’t even know where to start. 

First of all, I find the fact that they decided not to tell anyone the sex of the baby because they worry about a certain minority of people pretty discriminating against everyone else. They then sent us a letter where they asked us to please not question the sonographer, as sexing of a baby is a “specialized field”. So, despite of the fact that everyone knows the real reason, they openly and shamelessly lie to us. They basically either assume we are all complete morons; or it simply does not matter what we think.

My next question is: Why bother telling me an obvious lie? I would be much happier if they put it simply as their policy- We do not tell the sex. F *** off and go privately if you want to know.  But no. They can’t say that. Neither can they tell us the truth, because that would be un-PC! That would be discriminating against those poor ethnic minorities. And it is all about equality and diversity in the UK. 

My final question is why should they decide what is right for a particular family?

Imagine a situation- hypothetically, of course. My Islamic fundamentalist husband says to me that if I dare to produce a yet another useless female into his family, he would divorce me. Or beat the living hell out of me on regular basis. And never accept that poor child. So I am filled with fear and I want to know as soon as I can if it is a girl so I could have a termination. But nope. Ny-e-t.  The system decided for me. I am not allowed to get rid of that unwanted foetus. So what if my life is hell after that? So what if my husband might throw me out? The NHS’s conscience is clear.  The rest of the story is irrelevant. 

And, of course, it does not matter anyway, as if I were determined to find out, I would definitely pay for a private scan and then request an abortion. So really, what is the point of this stupid game? Oh yes. Equality and diversity. And political correctness. A complete and utter bollocks.


  1. There are so many people who think they know what's best for us. I remember how my blood boiled every time Thatcher told us what we were thinking, what we wanted, and so on. And the rest of them do it, too. So the petty bureaucrats think it's the norm.

    But, like the writer you are, you slip in the sub-text which (unless I've missed the announcement in a previous blog) tells us another Scary is on its way into the world. Is the UK ready for such an event?

  2. Wow. You are certainly not afraid to raise issues!

    To be fair not just Muslims prefer boys but some other cultures as well

  3. I first heard of politically correct and all that issues like 15 years ago. My country was recovering from the hardest times we went through in modern times. We simply had no time nor head for being worried about being PC. And my sentiments are the same until today.
    It's just impossible to please everybody, you'll simply end disturbing someone on the way.
    But most important, how's everything going with you?

  4. "I find the fact that they decided not to tell anyone the sex of the baby because they worry about a certain minority of people pretty discriminating against everyone else"

    Um, no. It is undiscriminating precisely because it applies to all - I think you mean to say that it's *unfair.*

    Well yes! Of course it's unfair, just as it would be unfair to law abiding citizens to refuse to discriminate between criminals and innocent people. ("Arrest that woman!" "But she hasn't done anything!" "Maybe not, but it's her turn.") This is why the current intolerance of discrimination is stupid, awful, hypocritical, and actually really funny.

  5. @Shannon: For an Americanskiy girl, you are pretty open to my non-PC topics! I am proud of you, babe. :))

    @Bill: I am afraid you did miss the previous blog with a proper announcement. Yes, a very scary event in this country is due in May. Wish me (and the NHS!)good luck.

    @Richard: That is why I said quite a few Muslims, and not that ALL of them were Muslims. But probably QUITE a few, what do you think? :)))

    @Gabriela: Your culture is probably similar to my home country in a lot of ways. that is why we are less tolerant to bullshit that the westerners are growing dangerously accustomed to. Thanks for asking, I am fine. the scan went well, but I was annoyed as they could not see the sex yet! :) But I guess it is too early. Just means, I have to pay £150 more in a couple of months to find out.

    @Mark: Yeah, maybe I confused the terms. But I think it is discriminating against our rights as free individuals. It should be a free country. I also think those people who might want to rid of their baby should be able to.

  6. :D
    Once again, come to Peru. A private scan here costs less than half.

  7. Congratulations for the baby and congratulations for the post! It's about time the authorities stop trying to think for ourselves and stop government-sanctioned racial profiling!

  8. There is another reason why the cash-strapped NHS does not want to tell you the sex of the baby: the fear of being sued leading to the waste of tons of public money defending those lawsuits. Have you heard of probability? They can only tell for sure if it is a boy. Sometimes depending on the foetus's position even that is not a 100% strike rate. So technically many parents would sue, especially if they made expenses based on what they were told. At a time when we are not able to save cancer patients, surely gender of the child is a fuss-budgetry expectant parents can pay for somewhere else.

    And you need to read the cues in the NHS. The nurses often say things like "I can tell you but I am not allowed to" -> generally means it is a boy.

    And as one commenter said it is not just Muslims. If you read British media, you will know how the recession means proper white British families - Christians who attend CoE - are choosing to send daughters to CoE or Government schools and sons to posh fee-paying public schools.

    I am sure you didn't have free healthcare in your Russian ex-country either, so please have a heart and be kind to us, your hosts. Thanks.

  9. dude you are very bitter
    What is it? Afraid the Freakish english wont accept you?

  10. @ Anonymous proud Brit:

    But you do know that it entirely depends on the hospital and the location, right? If it were one NHS decision throughout the country your logic would have worked better. I am not convinced Brits sue the government that often, either. In fact, I am often surprised at just how quiet, accepting and never questioning people in the UK are. Also, should private hospitals not be afraid of the law suits? They probably don’t want to waste their money either? But yes, I am sure they had lots of reasons for this. Still frustrating. I understand why people would send boys to private schools in this country, but it is a different topic altogether though.

    PS We did have free healthcare in my "Russian ex-country". With some bribes if you wanted a better care. I like the fact you are sure about something you have no clue about. At least I have lived here for 10 years.

    @Pierre: You are confusing "annoyed" with "bitter". Not sure what "the freakish English" comment has anything to do with the price of fish; but you clearly have some issues with them yourself. Is it you being French and hating the Brits? Just checking! :)

  11. @ Anonymous Brit: Sorry I just had to add. Everything in medicine, if we think about it, is about probability. They tell me my baby has a slim chance of having the Dawns syndrome, and that is also a chance. If something goes wrong, will I sue them? Probably not. They could do exactly the same with the sex. All they have to say is 'we think it might be a boy, but it is still a chance, not 100%' That way they cover their arses and nobody can complain. They just have to say it is likely to be. Not it is.

  12. I suspect this has more to do with the fact that these diagnostic tests are geared towards medical health checks only. Gender is not a medical condition, so why risk litigation and all that unpleasantness with selective terminations? I suspect they are just being pragmatic, that's all.

  13. If your child has a chance to have down syndrome, get rid off it.

  14. Good post with one exception. As some people here have pointed out, I think you were being a tad unfair to the Muslim community. I am an atheist myself and have absolutely no intention of defending any religious community in particular but as an avid member of Amnesty International I dare say that, funnily enough, over 70% of selective abortions in the UK are requested by INDIAN families (most of them non-Muslim) and some even atheist. Son preference is extremely deeply ingrained into Indian culture where the saying "may you be mother of seven sons" is still considered the biggest blessing. I read "death by fire-gender in modern (lol)India" about gender dynamics in my beloved India (I am only 1/8)I was shocked at the annual number of girls being killed either by abortion or immolation due to marrying wrong caste or the dad not having enough dowry is super high. China also has a large number of selective abortions. You may not believe me but I know tons of Arab families with 4 daughters and happy with it albeit I don't doubt that Osama bin Laden and his mates would also be. So i think you were right to put if I had a fundamentalist Muslim husband coz that's the only kind that'd dare abort their daughters.

  15. @Anonymous: I don't know why mentioning Muslims means I was being unfair towards them. I said there probably are a few Muslims in that category. There probably also are Indians, maybe some Chinese, maybe some Russian Orthodox for all I know. There could even be some atheists who are crazy. Who knows? That is not the point. I did not say all those people are Muslims, did I? I said some of them might be. But hey, if you want to pick on that please feel free. Everyone else picks on whatever they fancy to pick on here, often something I never even said. :))) Merry Xmas!

  16. Russian Orthodox would never practice that stuff. Neither would urban Chinese (nor rural ones if living in Europe). I don't hink any European would do it to be honest.