Not sure when would be the right time to tell you, but decided now is probably just right. I might be hmm... a little bit pregnant.
I wanted to tell you before, because I simply can’t keep secrets. Especially my own. But I noticed some confused and concerned expressions on my friends’ faces when I told them too early. They worried things might still go wrong. But I don’t quite get that logic. If things go wrong-which, by the way, they can at any point in our life- I would tell my friends. So why not tell them when things are OK? Especially since I started looking like I had too much plov almost straight away.
Anyway, we have now passed the first trimester and I suppose, now is a socially acceptable and appropriate time to tell you.
This news was a huge relief for a lot of my friends who were getting increasingly fed up with me not being able to make the decision. Should I? Shouldn’t I? You see, for a lot of people- for a lot of normal people- having more than one child is the norm. They don’t even question it. Without at least two, a family is incomplete. But for me, that was never the case.
I was a single child; and trust me, I was just fine. Here you will probably think “yeah but I bet you are dysfunctional and selfish” Oh, please, don’t. I have heard it all before. It is shocking how comfortable people are with repeating cliché phrases without analyzing what it is they are actually saying. And the single child label is hugely popular, I suspect, all over the world.
But you see, I know better. I know I was a happy child. I never felt lonely or cheated because I did not have a sibling. I am no more selfish in relationship with people than some of my friends with siblings. And so, I ignored the comments from people implying that I was selfish and cruel not giving my child a sister of a brother. She did not necessarily need one to be happy child, in my experience.
However, I simply could not decide. And it was driving me insane!
Finally, enough was enough. I decided that despite all my concerns and reservations, there was still a part of me who was curious. What would it be like, to have another child? How could I possibly love another baby as much as I love my little girl? What would this other child be like? I guess, I needed time to ensure I was not doing this because of the social pressure. That I was not doing it because my child kept bugging me on daily basis. I needed to know I wanted one more. Oh, and of course, that husband did not mind either. I do ask his opinion i some matters, of course.
Anyhow. I wanted to promise to you that, even though it is inevitable that being pregnant and having another child will bring up some issues I will want to discuss here; I will NOT turn this blog into a mummy and baby blog. I also wanted to explain that I have been so tired and sick recently that it affected how much writing I could do. Which I find very annoying. I hope to get back to normal soon and become more productive, somehow. And maybe? I could even stay up later than 9pm one night soon.