I was actually going to do a sketch to go with this posting but then thought better of it.
The other night, my friend and I were discussing quite a sick Russian joke someone sent us by email.
It was one of those jokes we, ex-Soviets, get all the time. Most of them are simply untranslatable into English. Even when we get the meaning across, most of the westerners just give us a blank look back, with a polite and confused smile. Russian jokes are very strange, indeed. Some of them are simply not that funny, and some are plain weird, but mostly all are offensive- one way or another.
This particular joke was about a Georgian man, who had raped a boy and was standing in front of a Georgian judge. The judge asked him why he'd abused the boy, and the Georgian man proceeded to explain (in a heavily accented Russian. Most of the jokes in that particular email revolved around Georgian accent.) that the boy was blond, with beautiful blue eyes, straight long legs...
‘Enough!’ The judge exclaimed. ‘This case is closed! It was obviously the boy’s fault! ‘
So, talking about the joke, and how sick it really was, my friend and I somehow moved on to discussing why certain nationalities back home were more famous for, let’s say, unusual sex tendencies, than the others.
My friend believed it should have been an Azeri guy in that joke, and not a Georgian after all. She thought that Azeri males were more known for liking young boys, than the Georgians. She explained that she believed it to be due to the influence of the Muslim culture. Horny young guys wanted to get laid, but had nowhere to go- since all the girls were supposed to stay innocent and pure until they were married. A very complicated situation, indeed.
Despite seeing some logic in her explanation, I was not convinced that was the only reason behind those sort of speculations. I am sure, if my memory does not fail me, that both Azeri and Georgian men were mocked for fancying young boys in those old Soviet anecdotes. Georgian men are mostly Christian...So why specifically them?
Also, what about this country? What about the Welsh men being famous for, pardon my French, sheep shagging?
Why is that? Where, I wonder, is this national hmm...characteristic coming from? Because, surely, Welsh girls do not have the same Muslim-culture-keeping-your-virginity- for-your-husband problem. So why sheep? Are there meant to be more sheep in Wales than available women? Are the welsh women supposed to be less attractive than the sheep?
I felt compelled to ask husband, especially considering that, despite being English, he spent most of his childhood living in Wales. The discussion moved on to us trying to figure out whether sheep shagging should be legal or illegal. Is it an abuse of an animal? Does it make any difference if the sheep is owned by you, or someone else? Most importantly, what if the sheep consents?
'I guess...' said husband, ' If a sheep could express its willingness, they would not have to do it on the edge of a cliff.'
I looked at him questioningly, and he happily explained that you do it on the edge of the cliff so the sheep pushes back.
Hmm....Clearly, a childhood spent in Wales had some very disturbing impact, if you ask me. And yes, a proper lady would have probably left the room at that point. As for me, I thought it was pretty funny.