Tuesday, 1 February 2011

Nothing compares to you.

A friend of mine made me very happy this morning. She reminded me of the mutual friend of ours ( let’s call her Ms.K.) whom I never liked; for such an awfully long and painful time, that at some point I just sat down and asked myself-why, oh why???!!! would I be going through this absolute torture of soul and mind? So I made an effort and cut her out of my life. (I told you briefly about her here)

And, since  I have not spoken to K for many years; I, of course, forgot just how irritating she was. How selfish and how ignorant. How terribly rude.

And so, every time my friend complains about K,  I just cannot help but enjoy it. Because it just reminds me of the benefits of not having to ever deal with this person again. No matter how frustrating or unreasonable some of the things my current friends might occasionally say or do nobody can ever compare to this girl.

And today, my friend made me laugh again. She was telling me that, having never been to Ms K’s place for a dinner or lunch in the years they both lived in the UK, my friend braved a more direct approach.

'Look', she said, 'I can leave the baby with my husband, take my 4-year old girl and just come and see you, perhaps?'

'No, no, no!' MsK exclaimed. 'Children would make too much mess! They would keep grabbing things and we would never relax! We could go to a park. Or I could come to you?'

Now, there would be an obvious question if any of us were rude (or brave?) enough to ask. How come she thinks it is OK to come to my friend’s place, with her toddler and make a mess, when she can’t face to ever have anyone over at hers?

How does she do it? My friend wanted to know. How does she always do it?

But people like K. exist everywhere. I am sure you know a few. I have met them here, in the UK as well as back home. And I have been fascinated by this type of people. And why some of them manage to not just get away with it but do it in such a manner that it makes us all happy to please them.

My theory is very simple.

Once, I saw this very funny video. I am very pleased I could find it for you in case you accidentally missed it and never seen it before- that would be a huge loss!Do watch it.

Sexual Harassment At Work

Because, the advice makes a lot of sense, even though the video of course, is meant to be a joke.

Be attractive. Do not be unattractive!

My theory about the users, who get away with using their friends, is similar to the above rule. The users have to have a certain charm about them. If they are friendly, charming, good-looking and gifted in this using the others game, they often get away with it, in some instances, for years. And you will probably think you must be a very close friend of theirs if they are so comfortable using you.

The problem of Ms K however, is that she, sadly, does not possess any charm. We all see through her. Some of us, like me, see it earlier and run away...but some, like my poor friend are stuck with her for a while. I just hope she finally gets tired of being polite and tells Ms K where to go.As we say in Russian, with a feather up her a***- for a lighter and quicker journey.


  1. They should teach seminars, it's a talent that has to be shared with the people. Where do I sign up?

  2. And did it all end for your friend and Ms. K? If they got together, how was the whole thing?

  3. not related, but thought you might like this:

  4. Totally support Nata's idea - I could do with some teaching on that! I'm not sure, but it must be written on my face that people can take advantage of me. And it's not just friends but even random people I come accross in day-to-day life do that to me and get away with it. In fact just an hour ago me & my friend were shamelessly charged for a black coffee which we never ordered but mistakenly served and therefore refused to have. Still paid for that like a pair of lokhs :)

    So true Scary, me and my abovementioned friend talked about a non-giver, an extremely demanding and high maintenance common friend of ours the whole evening. So I was pleasantly surprised to find your new posting on this very same subject after having come back home and checked my favourite Scary Azeri Girl's blog. So cheers for that :)

    I've always believed there's no such thing as being overly polite. But sometimes with some people you just have to have that 'telling where to go (which is nowhere nice)' attitude.

  5. Just wanted to say I loved the video and have forwarded it to my 3 kids. ('Kids' is what I call them, their kids call them 'mummy' and 'daddy.)

  6. we all know that people are different, some get along with each other, others not. but the problem is that we don't always know what type of people we are, we don't judge ourselves. may be that Miss K doesn't realise that she is not a welcomed person for some of her friends.but we interpret her behavior as "taking advantage of us" or "user" (potrebitelskoe otnoshenie)?

  7. @Matanat: Spooky or maybe, we all face these situations too often in our lives, and discuss them to ensure others can see what we can!

    @Bill: I am so glad I know how old you are and when you say I forwarded it to my kids, I don't freak out!

    @Anonymous: Ahm.....Nuh. dont think that is what Ms K's problem is! :)

  8. > for a lighter and quicker journey.

    Aha! It's starting to make sense to me now. When you're "tearing your ass apart," it's because you're trying to get the feather to fit. And that must be why Azeri men like their women with so much ass, because that way they can fit more feathers up there. Maybe I should try that with my wife; it seems like she's always bringing the car back late, and plus I doubt she'd have such an easy time beating me up with a fistful of feathers sticking out of her underwear.