Wednesday, 16 February 2011

The Sinner and The Saint.



Well, well, well... It is a very exciting time right now for those Azeris who think Eurovision is cool. Finally, despite the usual suspicious vote counting and some serious complaints sent to the Eurovision panel, the finalists for the next cheesy show have been chosen. 

What can I say? It is an interesting choice. I would suggest a very smart one. Because, we are now covering all angles and trying to appeal to all important groups in the audience, so to speak. 

There is a young and innocent, Justin Bieber (or some X Factor boy band contestant) type boy. He is fresh and, from what I heard, can actually sing. In some of his photos he seems to be wearing too much make-up, which makes him look strange. But that made me wonder if Eldar’s sexual orientation (do they even have a defined sexual orientation at the innocent age of twelve?) is purposely unclear enough to attract the gay votes. And the gay population forms a very large and influential audience of the Eurovision across the world. Tick!

Don’t forget that, because he is young and cute, he will also be getting the back-up of all those teenage girls, too. Tick!

What about men, you might ask, who prefer sexy, less innocent ladies? 

No worries!

For the female sex appeal we give you the other half of the duet. Sexy, good-looking and suggestive, the lady singer has not got much of a vocal talent going for her, but since when would that be a problem for this contest? 

Talking of Nigar Jamal’s looks, I was wondering if there is some First Lady Lookalike trend building up in Baku at the moment? The look to ask your plastic surgeon for, if you can afford it. In this particular photo below, Ms. Jamal looks disturbingly like the first lady. Only more approachable.


So, with a face resembling the first lady, and the Jenifer Lopez style backside, our female contestant looks pretty hot.  A few Azeris were also impressed with her ‘perfect English accent’.  Not sure what an accent has to do with singing, but it clearly impressed some fans.


Of course, no major event like this would go smoothly in Azerbaijan. People are either in love with the new representatives, or get annoyed at the way they were chosen. According to my (reliable, of course) sources, Nigar won pretty suddenly:  without the majority of votes or going through the official competition stages. ‘Shhh!’ someone told me. ‘Don’t say that on the blog, she is well protected, you know?’ So was Safura last year, as I heard. In fact, this is the sad reality of Azerbaijan. As soon as someone makes it, people assume- sadly, often correctly- that they must be well-protected.

So here we are, back to Eurovision again. Can’t wait to see the unlikely pair on the stage.  I would imagine they would do really well. Personally, I would suggest a seduction of a virgin boy scenario. The duet could be called The Sinner & The Saint. An innocent young boy, probably gay but still refusing to admit it even to himself, gets seduced by an older, experienced sexy lady. Add some drip-drop of tears, some semi-naked dancers, votes based on political and geographic location and some expensive world-known choreographers and we might stand a good chance. Again.  

12 comments:

  1. The Sinner and the Saint??? To be a Saint you have to have done something substantial.....which in this case the innocent is too young......so "The Virgin and Whore" might be more appropriate? Don't think there will be much debate about which one is which!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I loved that duet proposed by the first, and anonymous, commenter.
    :D

    ReplyDelete
  3. @Gabriela: Yes, I know, I know...But I thought it was a bit harsh to call the poor girl such a nasty word.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Which word? Virgin or the other one?
    :D
    Bad joke...
    :S

    ReplyDelete
  5. Judging from the photo Nigar's posterior rivals Kim Kardashian's. I'm sure she's got a lovely voice.

    ReplyDelete
  6. All I have to say is Fucktardship. People who put tons of money behind Eurovision in Azerbaijan should be lynched

    ReplyDelete
  7. @Anonymous:Yes,instead of spending tons of money for this fake popularity of Azerbaijan,they should been care about poor azeries(96% of population).Last present from them : prices for water,transport are increased,next is coming telefon.Shame.

    ReplyDelete
  8. @ Anonymous....And of course it is public money that they use....in a stupid chushka attempt to buy a European image for themselves and the country......never in a million years....and they even think they have a chance of winning the E.S.C. with Azerbaijan's human rights record? Which part of the picture are they not seeing))))

    ReplyDelete
  9. @Richard: So it is the contest of curvy posteriors for Armenia and Azerbaijan this year then? :)

    ReplyDelete
  10. A singer called Ilhama was among many who participated in the selection I think. She's got a really great voice and she's an alright looking girl (very tall) but not a sex bomb like Nigar. Perhaps that's why she didn't get sufficient number of votes. Shame.

    I do mostly support talks about Eurovision being so not cool, too political etc. However when the day comes I find myself sitting in front of TV till the early hours of morning and feeling all competitive and hoping that we win :) Don't know, it's just competitions are always entertaining.

    ReplyDelete
  11. @Matanat.......Ilhama has a great, big voice.....unfortunately she has a great big arse to go with it.....and anyway it doesn't matter how much money the idiots in Azerbaijan waste they will not win, but this year Azerbaijan wants to show that Baku is not 50% taxi drivers and 50% whores..........there are VIRGINS TOO!!!!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  12. @Anonymous: Whao, calm down son. I'm guessing your dad is a taxi driver and your mom is a whore, either that or you're on your period?

    @Blog, Dance/music which has mass-appeal is always about sex. Eurovision (retarded name sup) is no different, if you want to win you need to sell sex. My guess is that they're in it to win it, so they're doing exactly that, customer is king.
    Besides, the only ones complaining about the sex-aspect of music videos are middle-aged women who can't compete with the younger women. I've never once heard a young woman complain about the pornographic aspects of mass-media, and I certainly never heard any men complain ;)

    ReplyDelete