Yes, I know I am pregnant!

There are a lot of annoying aspects of pregnancy. Besides getting huge and heavy, tired and with constant indigestion, there are other, sometimes innocent at the first glance, sources of irritation sneaking up on you on the daily basis.

For example. I hear some pregnant women complain that the most annoying thing that happens to them during this wonderful time, is when strangers feel it is perfectly acceptable to touch their belly, just because there is a foetus in it. 

Fortunately for me (and for those strangers, too) I manage to avoid uninvited groping. However, every single person I bump into, and that includes the village shop owners and assistants, mothers at school and pretty much everyone at work; suddenly decided that the only possible topic of conversation with me is my pregnancy.

Not only that, on its own, is incredibly boring and frustrating ( as I still am interested in other things in life) but also, it is shocking just how limited their imagination is, when it comes to the questions they can think of asking. It basically follows the same pattern:

1)      Oh, you are getting big, aren’t you? ( I sigh, smile and nod)
2)      When are you due again? ( I grind my teeth and tell them- for the 100^th time by now)
3)      A slight variation from the above:  ‘How many weeks are you now?’
4)      Oh, not long left now, is it? (No, I guess the answer is no, not long. That is very true.)
5)      Oh, May! That is a lovely time to have a baby, isn’t it? (I guess so. Can you not tell from my  expression how bored I am?)
6)      Have you got a name yet? (I want to die.)

It rarely goes beyond the standard set. The only other question, which is often asked with a compassionate facial expression, is whether I am feeling okay.  I am pregnant, I am not on the deathbed!

At first, you feel people are sweet to notice. After a few weeks of answering the same questions, over and over again, your smile becomes a lot less genuine, and you try to escape as soon as you can. By the time you are in your week 30, your thoughts drift towards various forms of homicide, all gruesome.

So, I thought of the perfect business idea.  I want to design T-shirts with a little slot where weeks could be replaced as your pregnancy progresses. It would have something like ‘Yes, I am getting huge, thank you!’ on the top, the big Due Date in Bold underneath, and maybe something (a lot) less polite on the back.  And maybe then? all these people will talk about something else. Like the weather.