M is the best.

I have just discovered how sensitive men are.  Of course, I should have known better. There simply are some things that should never be said, some aspects of a man’s performance that should never be questioned or compared. 

We went to see our good friends recently, just before Christmas, and I, trying to be nice to husband, (something I am not terribly experienced in) decided to give him some credit in front of our friends. I thought that he needs more encouragement from me, especially since he had always been very sensitive about this particular friend of ours. Because, whenever we had been to his house, he always cooked something amazing.  (Between you and me, I have to say, he is THE best. Ever.)

I never realised that Husband was that sensitive when it came to me complimenting other men. I mean, it is not like I was talking about you know, that kind of stuff. I was only saying that M is an amazing cook.  Surely, my husband is not that insecure to feel threatened by this?!

So, as we sat around our friends’ kitchen, watching M prepare our lunch, I said, very casually: 

‘You know....you used to be the best I had ever known. But, I have to say, that Husband is now coming dangerously close...I would even say he is probably the best now.’

‘What are you doing?!!! ‘The friend’s wife exclaimed in horror. ‘You can’t tell M that?! It is his title. He is the best! Ever! He is incredibly sensitive about this!’

‘Ha-ha-ha’  I said, thinking it was a joke, but M looked dangerously sulky, and a large cloud started forming over his grey head.  I came over closer, as he started butchering the slow-cooked duck. 

‘Look,’ I said. ‘You must understand. He is my husband. I have to tell him these things. But, really...- I winked at him- You are the best, we both know you are’.

Husband was outraged. ‘I knew it!’ he said.  ‘You always thought he was the best. You just love him soooo much!  You were only saying I was the best but you did not mean it!’ 

The next morning, Husband was complaining to his mummy over the phone.‘Wifey is so unfaithful’,  I heard him say. ‘She is very naughty. She just keeps going on and on about M’s cooking. He is the best, he is the best....Nobody can ever be as good as M! I will just never cook for her again!’

Honestly. Men are such babies.

And what can I say? M is the best.