A Dwarf Tossing Party

I had a very bizarre dream last night.

As if we were at some posh dinner (you know it is a dream already, as i have yet to get invited anywhere posh here) and there were a few locals of a very important calibre attending. Suddenly, my husband was sitting at the table giggling like an idiot, having taken off his shirt!

'What are you doing?' I shouted...'we will get kicked out! Not just from the posh event- from the country!'

And he just kept laughing. I glanced up and saw a security guard approaching us quickly, but, as i looked back at Husband, he was already back in his shirt, as if nothing happened. 'How did you do that?' I hissed, but he just kept giggling. An elderly, very important and very Arabic-looking man suddenly appeared at husband's side and bent down to quietly reproach him. But as soon as the man's face came close enough, husband suddenly planted a wet kiss on his nose.

 Now, please can anyone analyse this?

 Anyway. As i said, i have yet to get invited anywhere posh. However, i can proudly announce that, after thousands of various types of children' parties i attended in the UK, i discovered that there was still room for improvement.

Such as a dwarf-tossing party. See? And you thought you have seen it all.

My child got invited to her classmate's birthday today. Everything seemed totally normal and very typical to start with. It was a big play zone venue with a small private hire room upstairs...Everything seemed just like back in the UK, except perhaps, better decorated and with very! nice food for adults. But then, as all the children were told to sit on their little chairs, right there in front of them, a group of acrobats-jogglers appeared. One of them was a dwarf. At first, I thought it was quite entertaining, in a very un-pc way. My feelings got stuck somewhere  between wondering if we were watching a freak show and convincing myself a dwarf got a job and therefore, was employed and happy....Until one of the guys climbed on top of another, picked up the dwarf by his ankles and started swinging him around fast, pretending to toss him into the circle of watching kids. That is when my British Health& Safety awareness woke up and started knocking and shouting loudly inside my head. Too close, i thought. Too near! One wrong move and the flying dwarf will kill a child, if not two. It was hard to remain calm as the acrobatics got more and more intense.

Fortunately, it all ended well. And I can now add dwarf-tossing to my list of children birthday party options. I am tempted to hire that group to come to my house for the baby's first birthday next month. Just to see the faces of my friends when a bunch of gymnasts build a human tower in the middle of my living room, with a swinging dwarf on top. How cool will those photos be?