Sunday, 13 May 2012

Never mind I'll find someone like you.

I was chatting to a friend back in the UK the other day. She had recently had to go through this horrendous experience of putting a dog down. And of course, was very sad. We talked about this, and for some reason, I shared this one little thing of mine with her.

You know, I told her, the weekend before the day it happened, when I already knew there was no other way, I sat there in my living room watching telly...and there was Adele singing "Someone like you". And I just sat there, crying to it, mourning in advance for something i knew i could no longer put off.

 Now, I said, whenever I hear this song, I start crying. It is like a magic key that switches the crying machine on-every time, without fail. To me, this song is about my dog going on that last journey. It is his song, forever.

"Oh my god!' The friend replied. "You will never believe this, but the very same song played on the car radio as we drove our dying dog to the vet's. So we had to switch the radio off."

We joked that Adele, in a million years, would not imagine her beautiful love song to become some sort of a pet cemetery tune. But then i thought about it a bit more and realised, that-and maybe it is me simply getting old?- there are more and more songs that i like and enjoy, which no longer have any relevance to what the lyrics are actually meant to be about. To me, they often associate with someone i have lost. And i no longer mean a boyfriend. No, not that kind of a loss.

There is a rock song that i can't recall the name of right now, which has a beautiful piece of a classical piano music at the end. And, every time i hear it, i think of my grandmother. Perhaps, because she was a piano teacher.

And my dad..well, my dad has not got just one song at the moment. Any sad melody makes me think of him. Any angry melody does, too. Because it just seems so unfair.

So, i wonder if this is what old age does to you. You no longer think of a bad break-up or a heartache caused by a boy you could not have, or had and could not keep...whatever it all was about- those days are gone. Nowadays, I hear a love song and in my heart, different associations take place, different pain comes alive. Different memories of people-or dogs-that are forever gone, leaving this huge empty hole. And suddenly, a pretty love song becomes a requiem.


  1. I don't think you are getting older (Gosh! Where would that place me? LOL). I think those losses are too huge to be managed without some tears from time to time.
    I guess all of us who have been through big losses might undersatand you.

    1. You know, it is strangely comforting knowing everyone goes through the same tragegy at some point.

  2. You are not getting old. This song utilizes "appoggiatura" to elicit your emotions. Here is a quote from part of a Wall Street Journal article about this song and its effect:

    "An appoggiatura is a type of ornamental note that clashes with the melody just enough to create a dissonant sound. "This generates tension in the listener," said Martin Guhn, a psychologist at the University of British Columbia who co-wrote a 2007 study on the subject. "When the notes return to the anticipated melody, the tension resolves, and it feels good."

    Chills often descend on listeners at these moments of resolution. When several appoggiaturas occur next to each other in a melody, it generates a cycle of tension and release. This provokes an even stronger reaction, and that is when the tears start to flow."

  3. Whenever i hear the song it reminds me of my dad, although i had lost him before the song was born.And when you sing "i'll find someone like you", you know it is a lie. Death is always unfair, especially when it's sudden. Allah rehmet elesin ataniza.

    1. Thank you. Sombrejoli. Agree...unfair...and makes you wonder what is the point of it all sometimes.