Wednesday, 3 October 2012

And then he found his release. Again.

One night during our summer break, Husband and I were out for dinner in a very pleasant restaurant, just him and me, you know. Without the kids, thanks to the in-laws. We sat there chatting away and sipping wine, when husband asked if I have finished reading this so-called mummy porn Fifty Shades of Grey yet. 'No', I had to admit...The problem is- I get bored and fall asleep every time Christian Gray finds his release. And since he finds his release pretty much on every other page, I never manage to read any more than one or two pages in one go. This is definitely, without any doubt the worst book I have ever attempted to read in my entire life.

'Do you realise though, Husband proceeded, that people at the table behind me, as well as to my right,  have been discussing this book for the last fifteen minutes? What is the matter with them all? How could something so bad get so huge so quickly?'

What amazed me personally in The Fifty is not the lack of any imagination, style or proper plot. And not even the repeated usage of the same words over, and over...and over again...(Mainly palatable, and found his release); but how it was a complete and utter rip off the Twilight. Interestingly, I used to think Twilight was bad, but only until I have started reading the fifty shades. In comparison, Twilight is a work of art.

Because I did read Twilight, I could easily see everything that got borrowed. From attempts to re-create the passionate but dangerous relationship, the unstoppable chemistry and the complicated situation, to small details such as relationships with people, the way he messes up his hair when confused, the way he claims to be not good for her...Besides shameless stealing of little episodes and characteristics from the Twilight, the woman also took some very well-known sexy bits from say, movies that have been proven successful. Say the sex on the piano episode from Pretty Woman. Really, it was a good scene, so why not repeat it again?

The reason I am still shocked at the success of these books is that the author did everything I, as an aspiring writer, would be mortified of getting caught doing. I mean, isn't plagiarism one of the worst crimes in any writing genre? And sure, it is very difficult to write anything original these days- most of the things have been written about, most of the topics have been covered. But that, surely, is part of the challenge? And what's the fun in stealing the work of someone else, adding a bit of spanking here and a sex toy there, changing a vampire into a rich entrepreneur...I guess all that money she has made from these books would be quite nice, yes. But would I want my girls to grow up knowing their mother wrote this bad (so bad it deserves a good spanking, Mr Gray) housewife porn? For the rest of her life, Ms James will be known for her rather impressive familiarity with kinky sex, and absolutely nothing else.

So I guess I should just admit I got sucked into it by this fantastic case of viral marketing, spent four quid on an Ibook version I could read while in Doha..and could not actually finish it. But, at least, I know what everyone is giggling about now.


  1. Overrated books and overrated writers have existed all over History, and they will go on on appearing. What amazes me the most is the huge number of people who consider themselves as people readers just because they got to read one of these stories.

  2. Found release? I guess I know what it means but now sure. I have not read the book.

  3. It is interesting you say it is a "rip off" of Twilight - because it is. It appears to be common knowledge on the interwebs that it is based on a Twilight fanfiction written by the author (you know, fan-written-fiction, was big during the Harry Potter days, but started probably with Star Trek). Then, the vampire-related bits got edited out and - voila! - 50 Shades was born.

    Which is in and of itself a fairly interesting phenomenon. Authors who began as fanfiction writers usually try to hide their origins (during the Harry Potter hay-day romantic pairings were called "ships", and Harry/Draco smut came with the invariable disclaimer, "JKR owns, I only play, you do not sue"). One prominent once-fanfic, now young-adult author, Cassandra Claire even kept her writing pseudonym, a move which resulted in a purge of all her pre-publishing online persona... but anyway. Thank you for the Ellen clip - that is priceless :)