Tuesday, 11 March 2014
I saw a very famous quote on Facebook just now. A question smart people should never ask a housewife:
'What do you do all day?'
Well, I said to two friends this morning, leaning into a soft big armchair with my cup of coffee, I can happily announce that these days, I do absolutely nothing. Sweet f*** all, to be precise.
And guess what? I am loving it.
The thing is, guys…I finally did it. I got myself a maid.
When we were just discussing coming to Qatar, one of the most commonly heard jokes in our household was the one about a potential maid. 'Oh, don't pick up those dishes!' Husband would exclaim ' Let Manuella do that!' Yep. Our imaginary maid had a name.
But, after the initial month or two of asking everyone if they knew the best way to get a maid, some uncertainty kicked in. I was not convinced I could do it, after all. Having a stranger living with us, folding my knickers and listening to my every conversation was just a bizarre concept to start with. And then, there was the confusion about the way to go about it. Do we use an agency? How much do we pay? Do we wait until we get lucky and someone leaves and we could take over the sponsorship of their by then trained and experienced maid? Do we have a live-in or live-out? What nationality should we chose? (And you have to chose, by the way, as your permit is only valid for a specific country your maid is from.)
Having waited for way too long, and interviewed a few potential candidates, I sort of gave up on the idea. My baby turned into a toddler, and things started getting somewhat easier. Sleepless nights (almost) disappeared into the past, I found babysitters I could trust, and a cleaner to help me once or twice a week. I can cope, I said to myself. The worst time has passed now. I have some me time while the kids are at school, and I do not actually need anyone. Because, not only do you risk getting someone you might not like, you are also bound to be facing some sort of issues. And trust me, I have enough issues as it is, without having to deal with yet one more person in my house, with her own sicknesses, crazy relatives and money demands.
But, everyone else had a maid. That can be pretty annoying. Even the very new guys who only just moved in, seemed to be quickly getting a maid each. What's wrong with me? I asked myself. Do I not deserve a bit of a break? Do I not want to have some help with these most hated house chores?
And one day, Husband got fed up. Come on, he said. Just try. If it does not work out, what's the worst that could happen? You ask her to leave. Go on, he said. Try!
My girl is the complete opposite for what I originally thought I was looking for. To start with, she is the prettiest and very possibly the youngest housemaid in the compound. That was never my intention. I am not stupid, I kept telling my friends, only half-jokingly, to be getting a young and pretty maid! Nope. I will get someone older, more like a granny type.
Her English is….well, there is none. Her experience does not quite exist either, from what I could tell. But, you know what? I love her. Some days, I even have this feeling that I could actually love her more than I love my husband.
In the space of the month that she has been here, I already am a much nicer person. From a flustered, tired and constantly irritable mother, driver and a maid, I am slowly turning into a calm, relaxed, kind woman.
I used to want to kill my family on the daily basis. Every time someone spilt juice on the floor, every time I opened my older girl's wardrobe to find the inside of it looking like a hamster's nest- again and again…I would be on the edge of loosing it. I would snap at my kids, and I would tell Husband off for not tidying up after himself. I am not your maid! was a very commonly used expression in my house. But now…Now I can do whatever I want. I can have my hair done. I can go to the gym. I can sleep. If my little girl asks me to come outside and blow some bubbles for her, I can actually do that, without thinking that I should really be inside changing my bedding or re-loading the dishwasher. I noticed that I pay more attention to what my friends are telling me now. I actually listen. I have the time to. I even!!! started reading the news again. I am slowly turning into a normal human being.
But this, my friends, created, as my new Spanish girlfriend would say, a terrible situation. Now that I discovered that having a stranger fold my knickers is very easy to get used to ( hmm…actually, have to tell her to stop rolling them into tight balls…) I simply cannot imagine life without a maid. How on Earth did I cope before she came into my life? How did I do all this? She works all day long doing all this crap I hated doing and had to do... and she does not have two children and the driving around Doha, and the shopping, and the socializing, and the working out, and the cooking, and the painting of the school play backdrop…How did I ever do it all??? And most importantly…how the hell am I ever going to do it again?
It really is great.
Hell…I might even try and get a job!
Maybe not just yet. Let me just enjoy this miracle while it lasts.