The unexpected shapes of hope.

I was chatting with a girlfriend in NYC whom I had not really talked to properly for many years. But these days, of course, we both have free time for zoom calls.  You know, she said, I am having one of those low days. Is difficult to stay positive, isn’t it. Some days I feel our life will never get back to normal. 

I was thinking about it afterwards. Shit, I thought. Will it ever get back to normal? 

Nobody of course knows the answer, even though everyone has an opinion. Seriously though, doesn’t everyone have an opinion on the whole Corona subject? And how strong those opinions are! Corona has become another big divider in the society. As if we needed any more. 

Just like the Conservatives think Liberals are just naïve idiots; just like those who were against Brexit thought they were intellectually superior to everyone pro. Just like anti-vaxers are disliked by...well, the rest of the world... And just like with many other things we all categorically can never agree, or even imagine how it is physically possible to have some other crazy opinion on, COVID-19 has divided the whole world even further, into very distinct groups. 

It is incredibly frustrating to suddenly realize that your little cousin believes the virus doesn’t exist, and thinks you are paranoid; and your friends share videos that to you are so painfully obviously stupid and yeah, it hurts but you know people find their own ways to cope and you try, you honestly try your best and sometimes fail, to appreciate that perhaps, just like many other beliefs that might be alien to you…it is just a way for people to escape the reality. And you have to be kind. Or at least pretend. 

Because this reality kinda sucks, to be honest. And that’s the bottom line; whatever you believe in right now, whether you think the virus was man-made in a lab in CHI-NA! Or maybe you think it doesn’t exist at all, and doctors everywhere get paid to write any random geriatric death down as caused by COVID…whatever you believe or want to believe…it still sucks as let’s face it people will loose jobs, here and there… and summer holidays aren’t happening. And neither are brunches for a while. And I appreciate my personal priorities shining right through loud and clear in that sentence, but I don’t care. I miss the brunches! 

It is easy to feel shitty right now. People are getting fed up. My colleague and a friend was hinting the other day that they had just bought a table so big that, sitting in the garden for a drink, we would totally be socially distancing. And he is definitely old enough to know better. But I am seriously tempted, of course. We are all so, so bored. 

Flying and travel will never return to normal, another friend suggested to me the other day. "Of course it will!!!" I said optimistically, sounding dangerously like Trump. "Just like that!  Like magic! You will see! It will all be fine again!"

But really, inside, I was not so convinced. I also get days when I wonder just how long this will last, whether we will lose the jobs and have no money and won't see our elderly parents. 

But then, I remember what one of the consultants I am working on a project with said the other day during our virtual workshop. It was, surprisingly, the most positive, optimistic thought I have heard during this whole pandemic period; and it came from this unexpected source, during what was meant to be a very serious discussion. It was a small group of a few very intelligent, experienced people from various countries, all stuck in their homes, miles away from each other, trying to figure out what changes were to happen; and how things would affect us and our little project.  Everyone was super serious and super important on that call. I was taking notes, not saying much. 

"You know what?' this guy suddenly said. "The only time I can think of in my whole life when things were this scary and this uncertain and our future looked extremely bleak was when we first heard about AIDS".   (At this moment, the others on the call laughed politely but not too enthusiastically, probably expecting him to stop there, but he didn’t.) 

"I remember, he said, I was a teenager. And to me the future looked dreadful then. There was no hope. We all thought we would have to stay monogamous for the rest of our lives.  We would never have sex with strangers again. But guess what? That was not the case. Here I am in Netherlands….and everything is fine and back to normal. We have coffee shops and saunas and…"

Anyway, he said. I am just saying we all might feel things changed and are there to stay this way, and the damage to the society and economy is irreparable…but, just like with AIDS, life most probably will get back to normal. It might be a new normal, as some of the changes that got propelled into happening right now might actually work really well, and we may decide we might as well keep them this way…yet things will most probably get back to normal. 

Now, I know the guy is an unusual character, an architect and is an eccentric free spirit in Netherlands. I know he is not a professor specializing in viral infections. Yet, every time I feel down, I remind myself of that story and you know what? It really does cheer me up.

Yes, AIDS was scary and horrible, people died from it and still do…and guess what, it didn’t disappear and is still here, but we learned to live with it.  Life goes on and the saunas still open in some countries… and people are not that monogamous. 

So here is to hope. And to the weekend.