Monday, 30 August 2010

The benefits of being a CHMO.

Well, it has been a bank holiday here, in the sunny (inverted commas) Britain this weekend.

Which means we get a three-day weekend instead of the usual two-day one. You might think that is a good thing. But no, not really. It just means we have an extra day to fill in with fun activities. And this is where it is difficult not to be a CHMO. Because, most of my friends right now are either away in some sunny (no inverted commas here) country, or spending bank holiday with their extended families and/or (better) friends.

We, however, had no plans. Well, originally, we were doing something every day. But then, things changed.

A friend who invited us over for drinks to her place on Sunday, cancelled. I knew she was going to cancel, to be honest, because nobody else was available, and she wanted to have a little party: just a few local friends with kids.

Unfortunately, we were the only (CHMO) family who had no plans for the bank holiday Sunday.

Of course, she had a choice; she could say ‘Oh, come anyway!’ or she could cancel and try to re-arrange when the others would be available. Of course, she chose the latter. That is what people do to you if you are a bit of a CHMO. (Of course, mother made me feel better by pointing out that the girl herself might feel somewhat CHMOminated by the fact that nobody else accepted her kind invitation. Hmm...I guess so)

I have to admit I hate it when people cancel on me. Absolutely hate it. I feel like a teenage girl stood up on the first date. But then, I thought... Actually...this is good. Because, there were thousands of tasks I had piling up in my house. In the end, being a CHMO on Sunday meant that:

  • I now have very clean French doors. In order to understand why that is worth pointing out, you have to understand that I have a very large dog. Every time I lock my Rottweiler out in the garden, he sits very close to the doors, barks and spits and snorts all over the glass. 
  • While I was in the window cleaning mood, I went on and on, polishing every mirror and window I could find. In the hallway, we have some pretty coloured leaded windows over the front door. I never knew they let light in, because I never thought about cleaning them so thoroughly. 
  • I have freshly coloured and nourished looking hair
  • Husband shredded all his unnecessary paperwork that he normally stacks up in a tall pile for months. He volunteered to do this without me threatening him with divorce, which is simply unheard of.
  • I bought ingredients and actually cooked a nice family dinner. A very rare occurrence.
  • During the aggressive cleaning activities I must have lost at least 500 calories which is almost as good as going to the gym.
So really...Being a CHMO is useful. And can lead to you getting slimmer, living in a tidy and clean house, AND with beautifully coloured hair.


  1. Don't underestimate the value of clean, reflective surfaces around the house. I find them to be an excellent defense against various supernatural pests, such as vampires or gorgons; in fact one evening after work I came home to find a life-sized statue of a nude woman with snakes for hair in the living room. OK, I admit, it was really, really a pain to drag it out the front door, because we had to turn it around sideways and the neighbor was too afraid to touch it to be of much help. But it all got sorted out in the end, and we feel it fits in quite well with the garden gnomes.

  2. @Mark: Right, right. Of course. :)

    Question: How did the nude woman statue end up in your living room; and more importantly- why would you get rid of it?

  3. You lucky thing, I WISH I had some CHMO time to nourish my hair! In fact, I always feel like CHMO because I never have any 'me' time, except yesterday, when my husband took our big boys to the beach and our baby was asleep, I just sat in the garden in my bikini reading Julian Fellows, it was heaven! To think that there is another nightmare weekend with social 'activities' ahead of us... grhh! LOL

  4. Yesterday we had a holiday in Peru too: August 30th is Santa Rosa de Lima's day. She is the saint patron of Peru, Americas and Phillipines.
    And about being cancelled on, it's worse when you aren't even told you've been cancelled and you get to the place of the non existing party or whatever.

  5. @ Scary: It turns out the gorgon came in through the back porch. And we didn't get rid of it, after the mirror got it good and petrified it was perfectly safe to put in the garden. Come on, don't look at me like that; they have Russian language subtitles for Clash of the Titans right here!