Friends Day

Well… is Valentine’s day today, guys. In case you forgot. 

For some it is a romantic day, for others I know is just a commercial holiday which means nothing at all. I also read that it originated from some pretty naughty behavior of the Romans.

For me, it means a lot. But in the Finnish way. 

One of my brightest memories of this holiday goes back to when I used to live in Baku still, young and single, and suddenly someone called me from reception at work. 

“You have a package” they announced. What? I was not expecting anything from anyone that year. I ran downstairs, excited, curious and there was a beautiful little box of heart shaped chocolates. There was no card and no name on the box. It was a total surprise.

For a few hours that day I thought I had a secret admirer. Or a weird stalker. In any case, it was exciting to know someone secretly cared. 

Later, my American girlfriend called and told me it was from her. So, someone did care. It was not the guy I was secretly hoping to hear from that day though, not any man at all in fact, but a friend, and a woman. I never knew girlfriends would send each other chocolates for Valentine’s?

“Of course, we do!” she exclaimed. Well, I thought, maybe Americans do. They are odd, those guys. At that moment in time, I guess I felt a little disappointed that my secret admirer turned out to be a girlfriend. 

Now, as I grew older, looking back at my life experiences, I realize that most of the amazing gifts, wonderful surprises and proper signs of affection came from my girlfriends, not the guys I went out with. 

During our first lockdown in Doha, my Qatari girlfriend sent me a hamper with all those necessities I could not come out and get. Shaving creams, razors, face masks and chocolates. Things that matter for a girl, you know. 

I also love it that on this day, my children often made cards for me at school, and occasionally would get me flowers. This day for me is just another opportunity to pause and tell someone you care, and it doesn’t have to be your romantic partner. 

So today, I am thinking of all my friends who for some reason might be alone. Divorced, single, widowed…stuck in an unhappy relationship, or simply separated by Covid. 

Whatever the reasons may be, there will be a few of my friends who won’t be celebrating tonight. And I wish I could send them all secret little boxes of chocolates. Just to say I care.

It has been many years since I had that  box from my girlfriend delivered to the reception desk at BP office in Baku. And I still recall it every year. Some memories stay with us forever. And as I look back, I don’t think of the guy who’d never bothered to send me anything that day, I remember this girlfriend of mine who cared and was so thoughtful.

So, I am with the Finns on Valentine’s day. I hear that in Finland, St Valentine’s is a friends day. Or just the day to show someone you love them- whoever they are.  

So, I just hope, wherever you guys are today, and whether you are single or in a relationship, you will have something that will make you smile. Whether it comes from your lover, or your friend, or your child. Happy Valentine’s and Happy Friends day! 

And maybe you could, just today, send a card or simply a text to someone who might be alone tonight.